I just noticed that the fucking opening credits to The Office generally reached the 4+ minute mark; 4 minutes out of a 22-minute show means that the opening credits are still going on for almost 20% of the episode, which is absolutely fucking ridiculous to me.
"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), "didn't you first point out the ridiculousness of this about movies back in early 2006, i.e. the good ol' days of Xmastime just after it's beginning 20 years ago, an anniversary that we losers should be celebrating this year but we aren't because we're stupid assholes?"
Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:
5) I’m sitting there watching the beginning of ‘Jerry McGuire’ last night (yes, I have no penis) and a few minutes in I start to notice that credits are still popping up on the screen. What the fuck. And by this point I don’t even mean “Tom Cruise” or “Cuba Gooding, Jr”, I mean “Music Supervisor Randy Whittman.” Camon. Credits are annoying enough, and now I check my clock and we’re NINE MINUTES IN, and we’re still having them fucking pop up??!?! And they don’t even just throw them out there, they fucking take a minute or so between them. What the fuck is this for – suspense? “Hold on…who’s the assistant cinematographer here? Who? WHO THE FUCK IS TH- oh, good. Jim Dickhead. He’s good.” I realize they’re folding them in as the movie is rolling, as if they’re part of the fucking story. Which is, I will say, a tad distracting when you’re trying to get a grip at the beginning of a flick. Luckily as I said is was only ‘Jerry McGuire’, so I already knew that I was in for 2 hours of wanting to kick the little kid in the face, Cuba Gooding screaming, and Renee Zellwigger’s face looking like Tomcat just cut one.
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