13th UPDATE: You Are Freaking Me Out Now, Apple

NOTE AS OF DECEMBER 10: for the first time yet the apple is starting to change in color, hopefully this will be the last time I gotta do this shit for you people.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I was out of town for a week so I put the apple in the fridge, fearing it would suddenly turn into an worm farm & I'd return to my apartment being turned into Fruit Fly Wormopolis, so I removed those 7 days from the count & things are back to Nuclear Apple Normal for now. You're welcome for my integrity, America!

Nine Eighteen Twenty-seven Thirty-six Forty-five Fifty-four Sixty-three Seventy-six Eighty-five Ninety-four One hundred & four One hundred & thirteen One hundred & twenty-two days ago, One hundred & thirty-nine  One hundred & forty-eight days ago I mentioned how strangely fresh an apple in my fruit bowl was looking:

Ever since Super Size Me first came out everybody wants to push some crazy story about how fake the Big Mac is based on it supposedly never rotting away - "OMG Ben Franklin put a Big Mac on his counter and now just two weeks ago the fucking thing learned how to drive a stick shift!!!" - but meanwhile I bought this apple so many weeks ago I can’t remember when and it looks the exact same as when I bought it. 🤔🤷‍♂️

Here's that apple 148 days ago:

Here's that apple 139 days ago:

Here's that apple 122 days ago:

 

Here's that apple 113 days ago:

Here's that apple 104 days ago:

Here's that apple 95 days ago:

Here's that apple 86 days ago:

 

Here's that apple 77 days ago:

 

Here's that apple 64 days ago:

 

Here's that apple 55 days ago:

Here's that apple 45 days ago:

Here's that apple 37 days ago:

Here's that apple 28 days ago:

 

 

Here's that apple 19 days ago:

 

Here's that apple 9 days ago:

Aaaaaaaaand here's that apple today: