While doing my laps after another successful Panera Sip Club pickup (I know, Braggy McBraggerson here right???!) I found myself walking past a very, very attractive woman with two dogs, one of which looked like a 200-lb beast while the other seemed to be as small as you could be while still legally being classified as a dog.
Unfortunately for myself, for some reason I’d been thinking about Peter Tinniswood’s classic homage to 1960’s Northern England I Didn’t Know You Cared and was about to unleash the surely-hilarious “these two look like me & my wife!” before I caught myself “wait what the fuck are you doing dumbass, now if you wanna have any potential with this smokeshow who happens to live in your building (and apparently loves dogs!) you’re gonna hafta almost immediately shift to your wife dying suddenly, which I don’t think you have the fucking chutzpah to pull off” so I didn’t say a word & just keep on breezing by.
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