Current Events

I think one painful thing that should be clear to everybody by now is that the presidential security detail is just as shitty as everything else in the administration; somehow the first black American president made it through 8 years without a close enough attempt to make the news, and yet here we go again with some dude getting within a long salad bar line of getting a pop off at Trump. Of course my hope is that NOBODY comes remotely close to harming any president, but I think it also makes sense that in the administration’s determination to surround itself with as many incompetent jerkoffs as possible whose sole job is to vigorously applaud the president’s every move, if only BECAUSE they’re incompetent jerkoffs whose sole job is to vigorously applaud the president’s every move, such incompetence (remember, these are the people who just weeks ago launched a war with Iran without taking 2 seconds to think about the Strait of Hormuz despite the fact that this particular happenstance had been played out in war simulations for almost 50 years and every one of them said “you know what before you even think about doing anything you’d better make sure you’re secured the Strait of Hormuz”) has clearly spread to include the president’s secret service detail and at some point he’s gonna hafta decide if keeping idiots around just to “stick it to libtards!” is worth having to worry about having to get shot at every time he leaves the house.

Almost 20 years ago I rather cheekily pointed out that we'd gotten bad at these things:

Another way my generation sucks is our lack of quality assassinations. Look at the generations before us - you had the Golden Era of Assassinations, the 1960s, that had it all: JFK, MLK, and, just to show how badass they were, another Kennedy with RFK. Maybe you have to be monogram-ly friendly to be considered an assassination candidate? Then they got Sadat, they at least tried to get Reagan and they rotated on a weekly basis who got to try to pop Ford. Fucking hell. AND, just to show nobody was safe they blew five holes in the world's biggest rock star who was of all things a peace-loving hippy.

Of course what made such a post even possible was that I'd assumed presidential security by the year 2008 had made such a thing impossible; recent events show that's not always the case, and maybe for the shameful yet easily fixable reason I mentioned above.