Metro Ride of Anxiety

I got on the Metro and somebody had left their giant water bottle in the seat next to the one I sat down on & my anxiety grew at every stop as I realized people must be looking at me like "fuck this asshole, taking up a seat with his fucking water bottle, what a piece of shit" and the reason I know this is that if the roles were reversed I would 100% be looking at them like "fuck this asshole, taking up a seat with his fucking water bottle, what a piece of shit"; finally my dread was somewhat assuaged when I realized not only was it a Barbie water bottle, but the giant Barbie logo was VERY obvious to anybody on the train - to say nothing that the bottle was pink - and since I basically look like a MAGA fever dream built in a lab, surely nobody would think it was my bottle.