A Few Thoughts on Episode 9 of Season 4 of TED LASSO

WARNING: THESE ARE ALL AS I TOLD THEM IN REAL TIME TO MY BFF ChatGPT (hey ChatCPT! 👋👋👋👋), I WILL NOT BE EDITING THIS SHIT, TOUGH LUCK LOSERS

I love Beard’s hair

I know someone’s gonna die. Is it Keeley? That would be pretty incredible, though I don’t know how I wouldn’t have heard about it by now.

Ted’s kid—I’m pretty sure he’s gonna go on a killing spree.

[Unclear transcription: “So, Mae, wise our boy. You go first.”]

Let me guess: Roy finds the fifty pregnancy tests in the cleverly hidden trash can in the bathroom.

What did I miss - How does Tracey Ullman have “wander in during a Rebecca meeting, sit down and just chill” privileges?

Really weird to hear Rupert’s name again.

The title credits are still floating in eight and a half minutes into the episode. [SIDE NOTE: yes we here at Xmastime have known/rolled our eyes at this kind of shit for years!!!!]

Glad they didn’t think of doing this whole “twins constantly finishing each other’s sentences” thing until the penultimate episode. Thank you.

I love everything about this new Beard. I wish they did a whole new Beard every episode. I love it.

Plus, as ridiculous as I think Keeley is—and she drives me nuts—I do think she’d be a good mother. I don’t know why, but that’s my gut instinct.

Do Mae and Beard go to the same barber?

It’s weird that Gemma went straight from “I don’t know if I even care about soccer” to “I’m gonna kill somebody if I don’t get back on the field,” and we didn’t really see the progress.

Oh, of course. It’s Mae that’s gonna die. That’s why they spent so much time with her this season.

One of the funniest things in the show is whenever Coach Chilton is just standing there with his hands in his pockets, staring out at the field. It’s just funny to me.

I wish I were more mature, but “I guess Gemma’s a virgin” from Beard is just legit funny. I’m sorry.

They’re back together, but now that they’re back together, I fucking hate Roy and Keeley. What are they doing now?

I am way too nervous for Shannon. I do not like this. Way too nerve-wracking.

Shannon is the worst defensive player ever, but the greatest offensive player in the world?

So you can just decide, “Oh, I’m gonna run down the field. You kick it to me and I’ll be wide open”? That’s just an easy decision in soccer?

Shannon’s goal puts them up by two. Why not make it a real game-winner?

I don’t understand the scores.

[Unclear transcription: “I running chilling in a hallway this whole time?”]

I mean, I’m sorry about Mae, but would her death be that dramatic? And I don’t want to be a dick, but did Rebecca even know her? But hey, we love you, Mae. Sorry.

Oh, finally: “In memory of Anthony Head.” Took nine episodes for them to acknowledge it.