WARNING: THESE ARE ALL AS I TOLD THEM IN REAL TIME TO MY BFF ChatGPT (hey ChatCPT! 👋👋👋👋), I WILL NOT BE EDITING THIS SHIT, TOUGH LUCK LOSERS
Oh good, it looks like Beard has gone sprinting past midlife crisis to full-on Rasputin.
“Until it doesn't.” Higgins dropping bombs out of the gate.
This apartment may be the least place I'd want to live in on a popular TV show since The Sopranos. The fuck? Ice cold.
Oh good. Now we're gonna do “Keeley's the-first-woman-to-ever-go-through-pregnancy” thing. Awesome.
Hey, the Roy's-turn-to-puke thing was good.
Is this finale gonna be about Ted's fucking shitty kid? Oh, for fuck's sake.
Jane's back. I gotta say, I really don't give a shit. Not at this point in the game. Am I crazy? I know I'm wrong.
Is Gemma the most Ted Lasso of any other character than Ted Lasso? She's always fucking beaming and smiling.
Of course the fucking Irish shine at a funeral.
Tearing up.
God, I know it. We're gonna have to deal with this shitty kid. God damn it.
Hey, how many times did my father walk in on me crying to myself? 🤔 (the answer is 0)
Okay, I know I'm gonna regret shitting on his kid by the end of this, but I mean, come on.
If Megan reached out of her grave and grabbed Ted, why would she pull him to her? Why wouldn't she pull herself up to Earth and then be like, “Hey, I'm back. I'm alive, guys. Cool.”
Ted lying about his father to his kid. That's only gonna fuck the kid up later. Great. Now this asshole has me feeling sorry for his shitty kid, for fuck's sake.
Is this the first time there's been a different intro song?
AGAIN, the title credits come in at what, 12 minutes? [SIDE NOTE: yes we here at Xmastime have known/rolled our eyes at this kind of shit for years!!!!]
Wait, how would Beard's parents lie to him about cigarettes? Would they tell him they were good for you? That's hilarious.
Look, making kids laugh about farts is funny, no matter how old you are. It is what it is. No apologies for that one. And thank you, Ted Lasso. You really are teaching us something.
Wait whatshername’s two kids were boys?
Ah yes, a Rupert mention, R.I.P. Anthony Head. Loved him.
A video of a team goofing around to a song and the internet loses its shit? Really?
Incredible song though. Makes me think of Brooklyn. :(
Keeley's gonna be on pajama couch rest for eight months or something? What the fuck?
It's a couple hours before the game and Ted just now has some ideas about the starting lineup? What the fuck kind of hippies are running this fucking team?
Here we go, Nathan the Great. Has he been in this season? No, right?
Right. Ted used that “You just met a cool person” line before. Maybe in the first season. Who was that? Damn it.
Oh shit, are we gonna get the Diamond Dogs finally? Oh my God, I think we're gonna.
Yes, right on cue, Diamond Dogs. Yes, finally.
How many times are we gonna do this fucking Roy-thinks-he's-a-piece-of-shit thing? The fuck? Come on.
I do like the fool-the-children-into-free-labor policy they picked up on. Hats off.
Okay, Tracey Ullman's character, when they're busted by the Milk girls, she is totally not believable in her reaction.
I'm happy for Shannon starting. I'm glad they made a big deal out of it, but didn't she give up like 11 goals in a minute last week or some shit?
Why would Ted bring up the attendance in the big speech before the game? Like, why would the players care? Has that ever been brought up by a coach before a game? Ever on Earth?
Okay, good to see the old players. Waterworks.
Okay, I hate what's-her-name's kids too. I hate them. I hate Henry. I hate all the kids on the show except for Phoebe. I love Roy Kent's niece. She is hilarious.
She literally says, “I know I should be home resting.” She has seven months left of being pregnant. What the fuck?
My broken record, but how did Tracey Ullman's character ascend so quickly to being Rebecca's BFF?
How can Rebecca be this shocked? It turns out it's Tracey Ullman that fucked her over. Like, come on.
Why did Zelda need to do the whole thing about buddying up with Rebecca? All it was was her guy calling people up and buying the shares for her. Why did she have to do the whole performance with Rebecca?
Oh my God. Give Tracey Ullman the Emmy just for that scorpion physical comedy. Unbelievable. I love her so much. Thank you, Tracey Ullman.
Is Ted pulling out a whole bottle of booze in front of his kid? Is this There Will Be Blood? What the fuck?
Great job doing the whole Ted-tells-the-kid-what-really-happened-to-his-father offscreen. Thank god. Good decision.
Hell of a twist. They got me.
Thank God, because Rebecca turning on Higgins was giving me severe anxiety.
Okay, the guys get in the pub and Mae's... Well, look, I'm not made of fucking stone. Here come the waterworks. I can tell, the rest of this fucking episode.
Funny tennis comment. LOL. Automatic. Perfect.
Has Ted done a “Biscuits with the Boss” all season?
Roy Kent thing is over the top, but her eyelashes thing is hilarious.
What if what we're led to believe is a record-setting pregnant Keeley walks in on Roy Kent and Rebecca hugging? That would be great.
Oh, here we go. Biscuits with the Boss. Silence.
Is this supposed to be Hannah Waddingham's Emmy episode? They're really pushing her over the top.
He just decided to ditch the women's team in the last 30 seconds since he learned Roy was leaving?
Richard Schiff as Beard is fantastic. Kudos. Applause.
I guess Rebecca's getting married. Great. I thought he was gonna say no for a second. I thought he was gonna say, “This is kind of impulsive,” but oh well.
“Did you know oysters come from the sea?” Got a legit LOL.
See the huge jar of pills Roy's packing. I thought they were going to be a big part of this season because they made a big deal out of showing them a couple episodes ago, but guess not. So why wave them around now?
Okay, the action—army action figures—here come the waterworks.
Okay, Coach Chilton getting the job, total waterworks. But shouldn't she also be like, “Yeah, fucking A, I should have done this a year ago, assholes”? But I'm bawling. Good for her.
Oh, Ted didn't take the men's job. Wow. Okay. Overall, fine. I'm glad everyone's happy. Wasn't quite the waterworks I was expecting, and to be honest, God bless her, but I didn't hear a word Mae fucking said in her elegy at the end, but oh well. There was actually a sense of laid-backness to the whole episode that surprised me.
No comments:
Post a Comment