Metro Ride of Anxiety

I got on the Metro and somebody had left their giant water bottle in the seat next to the one I sat down on & my anxiety grew at every stop as I realized people must be looking at me like "fuck this asshole, taking up a seat with his fucking water bottle, what a piece of shit" and the reason I know this is that if the roles were reversed I would 100% be looking at them like "fuck this asshole, taking up a seat with his fucking water bottle, what a piece of shit"; finally my dread was somewhat assuaged when I realized not only was it a Barbie water bottle, but the giant Barbie logo was VERY obvious to anybody on the train - to say nothing that the bottle was pink - and since I basically look like a MAGA fever dream built in a lab, surely nobody would think it was my bottle.

XMASTIME TV REVIEW

Life, Larry and the Pursuit of Unhappiness

Despite being a HUGE LARRY DAVID FAN!!! I mentioned my concern about this show a while back & after watching the first episode, it's even worse than I'd feared. It's pretty much Larry standing around throughout a few scenes set in history reciting old bits from Seinfeld & Curb Your Enthusiasm; his rattling off from The Official Larry David Canon of Society Rules is made even more cringe-inducing by the constant shoehorned setups by the other actors. Truly shocking how bad it is - I assumed it'd be just like I've said but still easy/fun to watch, but it was none of those things & even I'm surprised at my own struggle to make it through the entire 30 minutes.

It's only the first episode so you never know, but I have a feeling we know.

Yes, Xmastime, It IS Crazy!" - Xmastime fans

It's crazy that for decades and decades the radio played popular songs released by record companies & we'd all huddle up next to our radios with tape recorders WAITING for those songs to be played so we could record them & while yes it was "illegal" wink, wink, it was also a tacit arrangement to keep people excited about the songs they liked - I can promise you the next time a rock star gets pissed off hearing a fan tell them their "omg I used to huddle up next to my radio waiting to record your song when it came on the radio!!" story will be the first one - and yet having a snippet of a song pop up in a single episode of a television show can lead to entire seasons not being allowed to be stream because of insane licensing deals from the 1960s.

Questions. I Have Them.

Is the Republican party in Congress today currently under the process of enacting the single greatest voluntary transfer of power in almost a thousand years; are they the exact reverse of the Magna Carta? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Oh FFS

This drives me BONKERS!!! Why would you put the icon to skip to the next show on the left of the screen and the name of the episode you're currently watching on the right side when the natural directional flow of any user who's used to reading books from left to right (sorry China!) WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS????? 😡😡😡😡

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

Living is easy but life is hard.

TAKE MY TEENAGE HEAD at 30 🤗🕺🎸🥁❤️

One of Those Days

I mean amirite? 🤷‍♂️😜

Ah well, let's try again tomorrow everybody 👍.

Wannabe THE ONION Headline

SHERYL STILL PICKING AT FUCKING SALAD 47 MINUTES INTO MEETING

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady lyric:

"And she said man you know I love Iggy
But he's the least incredible thing about I Wanna Be Your Dog
And then she puked lime green Big Gulp all over my Keds"

PREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE

Was “Unable to Detect” Really Necessary Here? 😡😡😡😡

OMG New Find du Jour

This Dr. Z shit is incredible; the Hader/Oswalt part is off the charts Hall of Fame. 🤗🤣🤣🤣

AMERICAN WORKERS FIRST!!!

...of course we hafta make the TRUMP sign a lot bigger, but still, AMERICAN WORKERS FIRST!!

Green Eyes, Indeed

Green Eyes was a song Dish & I always talked about covering but we never got around to it before I left Brooklyn; I don’t really know DCFC but always happy to share the Grant Hart love. 🤗🕺🎸❤️

NEW XMASTIME SERIES

This is Why Women Hate Us (It Wasn't Me)

Xmastime Films

OUT BEHIND THE MULBERRY TREE

Watch Previous Xmastime Films Here

Canceled Not Canceled du jour

In the year 2026 Anno Dominoes Pizza, I don't think you'd be able to make a fat joke like Coach Reeves does with Coolidge here. 😲😜🤣🤣

BONUS POINTS: in listing the players all at once like this, Coach validates my post about Carver's curiously diverse roster:

...here’s a school in a black neighborhood in South Central, yet there’s room on the team for a Mexican, a Jew, an Italian and, get this, an Irish guy. I’m surprised there wasn’t a benchwarmer with a towel on his head.

 

In other words, was The White Shadow the earliest case of DEI? Kinda like George Harrison being the first Tea Partier? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

Incredibly Overlooked/Underrated Incredible Supremes Song

I've only just now realized the backing track for this is shocking, it seems to sway from left to right at various times and is so good that it's almost a shame there's any singing over top of it - and yes that even includes the mighty mighty Supremes WHO YOU PEOPLE KNOW I LOVE LOVE LOVE SO GET OFF MY ASS ABOUT THIS ONE!!!

Besides, this was their first hit after Diana Ross left so I don't feel so bad anyway. 

Xmastime Films

THE MYSTERY OF MURDICK'S FUDGE

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Xmastime Films

UNCLE GREG’S SUPER-DUPER 🔥🔥🔥 WEGMANS DEAL OF THE WEEKEND 🔥🔥🔥 😲🤯🤗🕺💰💰

Watch Previous Xmastime Films Here