Happy Birthday...

...to the first person who thought I was funny. 🤗❤️🤣🕺

 

God Save the King(s)

Here's all the (probably shitty)(and these are the ones I saved!) videos I have from my Sex Pistols show, which I'm still fucking giddy about. 🤗🎸❤️🇬🇧 

Xmastime, Genius Painter

An Xmastime Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please grant me even one moment of being as excited as this fucking lunatic is fetching strangers iced tea.

Thank you,
Xmastime

Hold Up...

...the building next to me is doing Halloween AND Xmas at the same time??? 😲🤯

I declare....I'll say the same thing I say about NASA: why aren't these people running the goddam country?

 

Speaking of Don Larson's Perfect Game

Via:

After Larsen completed his historic perfect game, he was quoted as saying, “That catch Mickey Mantle made on Gil Hodges’ long liner in the fifth saved my bacon.”

70 Years Ago Today

60 Blue

Today at work I was positively regaling someone with the story about the 10 seconds around 2006 the Year of Our Lord Anno Dominos Pizza I allowed myself to believe Tommy Stinson was gonna play on a record I was in the middle of making thanks to a friend of mine having dated him at some point; now I'm cracking myself up imagining how small an act it would take for me to bullshit Tommy’s name onto the album credits once it was done – he touches a bass guitar? BASS BY TOMMY STINSON. I can grab any string of words that come out of his mouth and stick them on a song? SONG BY STINSON/WILSON. Name of album? TOMMY STINSON.

ANYhoo, here he is smash-colliding two beloved Xmastime worlds, Denny's and What's Happening!!

In Which Xmastime Blows Your Mind About Rubber Soul, but Only a Little Bit

One of the many charms of Rubber Soul is that it positively REEKS of "this is 1965", with the rock-but-with-acoustic-guitars sound/title that looks like a warm pillow to curl up in/the obvious influence of marijuana but not the scary LSD of the-future/even their jackets on the cover are like "can you believe how cozy it is here in 1965?" & on & on & on.

BUT.

The album was released on December 3, 1965, so I'm guessing that even though it sold 1.2 million copies in the first 9 days & was the #1 Christmas present going that year (why is why they were scrambling to complete the album so quickly), based on the fact that it remained stayed at #1 on the charts for more than 3 months & presumably was on the radio just about every minute of the day, can we assume that the first time the majority of people actually heard Rubber Soul was in fact in...1966? 🤔🤯

Moi Say Moi

I don't know that the hell people did before aluminum foil & kitchen shears and I don't really care to ever find out.

Cap Doffed to a Recent THE NEW YORKER

For having not one but THREE great cartoons, which I present to you now and yes, you are indeed quite welcome. (Also - what is about The New Yorker and crushing it with animal cartoons??)

 

Oh FFS CNN.

CNN rarely goes more than a week without yet another article about a farmer who repeatedly voted for Trump who once again, as always, finds themselves desperately trying to not lose their farm because of Trump’s stupidity and my question is, who exactly are these articles for? The farmers/fans of Trump who don’t dare read CNN because Dear Leader has demanded it’s “fake news”? Or me, who from the moment Trump descended on that golden escalator has implored people – including these farmers – to NOT vote for Trump? I’m trying not to do a big fat “I fucking told you so” but also believe we’re long past me pretending to 🤔; I’ve done all I can for these fuckers, I’m tired of pretending they’re somehow “more “American” than me & deserve chance after chance to be saved from running into traffic like a fucking toddler. Incredible.

XMAS YOUR ENTHUSIASM: Season 7 Out Today!!

LISTEN HERE or wherever the hell you listen to podcasts. 🤗🕺

Yeah So I'm Sorry Buuuuuuuuut...

...there's no WAY John Lennon would let himself be seen next to Potsie, NONE!

 

SO WHAT RECORDS PRESENTS A Special Collection, 1959-2026

The reviews are in!! 🤗😜🤣🐶 #Shep❤️

 

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady song lyric:

“And she said man the rhythm of the Beatles entire career
is set so deep within us all it's almost like the seasons of the year,
And then she puked Sour Patch Kids Strawberry Melon Slurpee all over my Keds."

PREVIOUS HOLD STEADY GENIUS FROM XMASTIME HERE

"Boy, I'll Say." - Humanity

Depressing du Jour.

I'm rarely being accused of being prescient in this thing called life & in the world we're all living in, but this is about as prescient as it gets 😡. (poor grammar notwithstanding)  

Comedy Dreams. I Have Them.

For some reason when I saw the headline below about Dennis Hastert I thought of this about George Carlin: 

Carlin explains why he likes "big, fatal disasters with lots of dead people", asking: "Y'know what's the best thing I can hear on television? 'We interrupt this program' ... y'know the worst thing I can hear? 'No one was hurt' ... I'm always rooting for a really high death toll, that's why I like natural disasters."

Meanwhile, I don't think Hastert's a perfect example of what I’m about to suggest but I'd like to see a great comedian go on a riff about famous people who are incredibly successful in every facet of their lives we all envy who blow it all on the 1 yard-line of life; I don’t have the stomach to do such a thing myself but man Carlin woulda fucking nailed it. 

God Save the Sex Pistols

Because it's the year 2026 I went looking for & fully expecting to find a well-recorded YouTube video of the entire Sex Pistols show I went to & not only did I find it, but what looks to be the best "official" one so far for fans to find was apparently taken by someone right behind me in line; besides seeing the back of my buddy Jeff's head (hey Jeff! 👋) you can unfortunately hear my blather away off-screen. 😜

WAIT - does that mean that if for some reason someone would hafta explain as being even remotely plausible Steve Jones or Glen Matlock or Paul Cook were watching the same video then that by definition means we are now living in a world in which members of the Sex Pistols have heard my voice???!?!?!!?

I mean hey, stranger things have happened - like me possibly making Joe Strummer laugh!

Or having Jody Stephens pick up the phone when I called Ardent Studios in 1996!!!!

What an incredible show. I can't believe I stood 15 feet away from Steve Jones. All those hours listening to this album in my '78 Ford Fiesta almost 40 years ago as a teenage boy...