Agony.

After being pain-free for 2+ months and only 5 days away from my final clinic visit in which I would finally get the treatment I need (hopefully), last night the fucking gout got a hold of my knee again and I spent the night in fucking anguish, crying in disbelief over the amount of pain and knowing that if it's anything like the last time, I'm in for 3 or 4 weeks of sheer fucking agony as well as taking 10 or 20 times longer to do anything - I tried to get dressed earlier and couldn't, and I need to be a fucking acrobat to sit on the toilet. I feel like I'm on death row. I know there's people in even worse pain that really are going to die, but right now I'm fucking feverish with pain and lack of sleep. Ironically, it's actually less painful while standing as straight as possible than lying in a bed (although getting to the point of standing up is excrutiating.) So unless I'm a cow, there's no fucking sleep coming. No one who wasn't hit or bit by something should feel like this. Thankfully RRTHUR brought over some Tylenol; until relief comes I swear to christ I wish I was dead.