Sunburn

I made it all the way through an entire week at the beach without getting sunburned, mainly due to my brilliantly designed plan of desperately avoiding any contact with sunlight, until of course the last day, during which I forgot to spray the front of my (ripped) body and then decided to taunt the Sunburn Gods and walk from under our tent to the water and back with no shirt on - an exercise I know call The Outer Banks Death March. I feel like a survivor of the Bataan Death March must feel, if the Bataan Death March had actually lasted 70 seconds and there was plenty of Diet Coke. Anyway, of course a few days later my gut is still lobster red with tiny blisters, and now I'm worried that when it starts peeling the itching will be unbearable, as per an experience I had about 15 years ago (the last time I allowed my skin to see the sun.) So far it's not itching, but I just picked up a bottle of Benadryl so I'll be ready if it does. And right now while waiting I'm alternating between looking at my red belly and the instructions on the tube of Benadryl, and oh greeeeeeeeeeat, I see this:

"Do not use on large areas of the body."

Fucking christ.

(pic obviously pre-burn. I also did not imagine while it was being taken that the fellahs were looking like kidnapping victims being photographed for a ransom note. Thanks guys.)