This reminds me of the time I was down home and went out fishing with a coupla people, one of whom was Sistatime!, who pretty much needed to be told which end of the pole to hold onto. We're in the middle of the river for about 30 seconds before people were pulling fish into the boat non-stop; I swear to christ, fish were jumping outta the water and into the boat "saaaaaaay, what's going on up here guys?!!" and then texting their fish friends to come on by. Sistatime! barely looked up from her US Weekly as fished marched onto the boat and into her bucket. Everyone was catching fish like I'd never seen before.
Everyone except, of course, me. With each passing minute and as the pounds of fish climbed, I became more and more embarrassed. Nothing tugged on my line. Fish were shoving past me to get to the others. I tried to stay quiet, hoping nobody would notice, and prayed for our little trip to end. Finally, everyone was satisfied that there were no more fish in the river to catch, plus it was about 100 degrees, and decided to go back in, to my great relief. Until Sistaime piped up.
"Ooohhhhhhhh, we can't go in yet. Xmastime hasn't caught a fish!"
Grrrrrr.
The boat engine was cut off and everybody slowly turned to glare at me, giving me one big "you better catch a fucking fish right away, asshole." I threw my line back out and waited as everyone stared at the back of my head, mentally yelling at me like an abusive father losing his patience trying to teach his kid how to change a tire. FINALLY some poor fish felt sorry for me and let me pull it up, all maybe 2 inches of it.
Thanks a lot, Sistatime!
SIDE NOTE: 20 Reasons Paul O'Neill is the Fucking Man.
1 comment:
When Paul O'Neill was told LaTroy Hawkins was getting plenty of grief for wearing no.21, instead of telling the fans to chill out, he said, on the air, that he thought this was "neat". Lost a chunk of respect from me right there.
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