Still Venting

On one hand I’m constantly being told that "real" Americans don’t pay attention to politics & if I do it’s because I’m some out-of-touch coastal elite but on the other hand we’re on Year 8 now of Democrats being told we need to understand “this happened because this voter here watched X happen as a result of Y action or inaction from a politician in one of the parties and so therein they decided to vote for Trump” and meanwhile Republicans were like “yeah we’re just gonna storm the Capitol and throw a Nazi rally & call it a day" and so here we are. 🤷‍♂️

I'll Say This

There will never be another non-white, non-billionaire, non-male president in my lifetime. Forget it, not happening; no party will even come close to running anyone who doesn't fit that again in the foreseeable future.

Venting

Democrats will spend the next 4 years breathlessly parsing which legislative bill add-on could’ve turned away a Harris voter or chiding voters for not pushing Harris to explain her slow pivot from Biden on inflation or whether the Supreme Court was right that discriminating against Asian college applicants is not an acceptable way to pursue social justice while Republicans were like “yeah we’re just gonna storm the Capitol and throw a Nazi rally & call it a day" and so here we are. 🤷‍♂️

Ugh.

Right now I'm butt-hurt so this comes wrapped in a lot of "fuck 'em, if that's what the people want let's give it to them & see how they really like it", but I still believe this is true.

I've long been wary of our recent political addiction to appeasing some sort of bipartisan friendship fantasy in which we allow ourselves to believe the demands of the minority are as important as those of the majority; that a bill being bipartisan is somehow more important that it being good. Meanwhile we’re just getting more & more partisan every day anyways, and with no end in sight.

I think nothing will change until we start letting the winners of elections actually do stuff they want to do. Otherwise, there is just no incentive for the losing party – okay I’ll just say it, Republicans - to stop doubling down on being completely unreasonable assholes; with Democrats for some reason being pressured to constantly make sure their counterparts are happy, Republicans get enough of what they want to not have to re-think their own policies (or lack thereof) or tamper down their outrageous, dumber-by-the-day rhetoric, all without ever then having to shoulder any real responsibility if anything goes badly anyway. A democracy which continually rewards the minority over the majority is no democracy; a democracy for which over & over none of the majority’s ideas get to happen in favor of fealty to the minority is no democracy.

Welp.

That's that. 🤷‍♂️

Magical Marah 100 Metro Memories, Man 😜

Longtime Xmastime bff Dave Bielanko of the awesome MARAH wrote a nice piece on their beautiful So What If We're Outta Tune (with The Rest of The World) a few years back and it's mostly about my old loft building, 100 Metro...way too many incredible memories of this Golden Era for 100 Metro, where a fantastic dinner party was always in danger of breaking out at any moment. Enjoy!  🤗 🥲 🎸 ❤️

THE SONG: "So What If We're Outta Tune (with The Rest of The World)"

This song is a great example of chasing a title around. "So What If We'Re Outta Tune...." Jesus, I thought...what if The Ronnettes had a song called that? A lost track, a failed single, maybe something too ambitious and smaltzy and overreaching to really connect w young America back in 1963 all gaudy high strings and murky, buried horn buzz, tinker bells at the tippy top....how bad would I wanna hear a song like that? Find that obscure 45 at a rummage sale.

A 1st generation loser love song.

So I chased it around...the title anyway.

100 Metropolitan avenue in Brooklyn was Marah's HQ during the "IYDLYC" era (2005/2006)

The building itself was (is) a daunting monster, a big drab industrial city block that went up about 5 or six stories in a perfect square giving it all the architectural elegance of a cardboard shoe box.

Off brand Medical shoes from the 1940's. Crazy people shoes.

Bellview Hospital. Tenants of 100Metro jokingly called it "The Gray Lady".

It used to be a hat factory back when everybody on the east coast needed to look like WC Fields during the Great Depression. I'll save you all the obvious "mad as a hatter" bullshit...I'm sure it fucked us all up in a bunch of ways.

100 Metro had an archaic rusty chain driven elevator and access to the flimsy black tar roof with a stunning view of Lower Manhattan (beyond a mess of Williamsburg's famous ancient, wooden water towers)

If you needed a venue to film part 7 of the SAW horror movie series you could do a lot worse.

Larry Andersen loved our band and opened his loft up to us without a second thought; we could stay there whenever things got too fucked up elsewhere in our "real" lives; we could certainly stash our guitars and amps there, come and go as we pleased and occasionally throw big spaghetti and meatball dinners.

We watched many Super Bowls there, World Series', even spent a few Christmas Eves. The place was covered in vintage Joan Jett and Cramps posters, Patti Smith.... the walls were lined from floor to ceiling with dusty vinyl, a fully autographed 1st Ramones. Holy Shit Larry!! How?

Always, during this era, Marah did any necessary album overdubs there; a"pro-sumer" grade computer rig, a nice borrowed V62 preamp and a black SM7 on a ducked taped microphone stand that I drug up 95N from Franks Auto in South Philly once upon a time. A MARAH Last Rock N Roll Band sticker all faded and tattered on the heavy lead base.

Anyway, this place was our jawn. I was proud to hold a key.

In the bathroom we set up a flimsy 1970's colonial kitchen chair and the vocal mic and we started recording before i really finished writing the words. I knew that if we didn't start, we'd never finish (simple as that), and the song would vanish like a cool dream that you try desperately to remember as you are making AM coffee. But those kinda dreams always slip away, like so many other songs had vanished before and since. So I was still changing the words around as we pushed "record", maybe I'd get lucky?

You got to try.

In the end I was never really satisfied with it: on the album I play it a little bit too fast, I sing it a tiny bit too sharp, I'm nervous and self concious. Crossing shit out, writing in the margins with a broken red colored pencil, couldn't find a fucking pen. I know me and this was pretty much a straight up "love song".

So i was freaking out.

I fumble around on the thumb driven acoustic guitar figure. I was trying my best to be sure, but i certainly didn't "know" the song well enough to be cutting it entirely live as a singular, solo performance. B it was time...and if i was gonna land this song at all??...I was gonna land it the hard way.

This next part is super blurry....a girl from a famous high end Kentucky "bourbon family" was there, in 100 Metro and right out side the makeshift bathroom studio wall that didn't fully extend up to the ceiling.

So she was listening. I'm not sure why she was there? Visiting NYC? I'm trying to remember her name?? She was cool, we all liked her; she was a Marah fan and came to a bunch of shows way back then. Certainly any of Marah's Lexington/Louisville appearances. She'd also bring us multiple bottles of $$$bourbon any time she'd turn up. Stuff that was waaaay out of our league , (for that reason alone I'm very confident this gal is singularly responsible for blowing a bunch of Marah gigs that could have been potentially great). But don't hate her, bless her, not her fault. She meant well.

Anyway, she wasn't shy that day. When I finished stumbling thru an early take of "So What If We're Outta Tune..." she chimed right the fuck in saying that our record wouldn't be half as good if we didn't include "Outta Tune". She insisted that we include it. Needed it.

She said we'd be pussies to leave it off.

She said she'd quit liking us or bringing us bottles of expensive hootch if we kept it off.

She was serious about it. Convincing. She said other stuff too...but it's gone.

I wonder if she'd even remember any of this??

It weighed on me.

Later, after she was gone, I got through an entire take. It was the best I could do on that particular day.

We made a rough mix CD and I set off out onto the streets to walk around NewYork and ponder it.

I still couldn't decide.

So in the end, I guess she did.

This girl....who's name has gotten away.

We never re-cut it.

Serge added a banjo on the second verse. We all thumped big low, parade drums on the chorus; Kirk lead us all in an old fashioned la la la background gang vocal.

Serge sang the turnaround lines into an old dryer.

"with the rest of the world, with the rest of the world"

Finally he played a crystal wine glass, it made an eerie, unsettling drone.

A failed masterpiece.

Best we could do.

<

Speaking of Heroes...

...who amongst us will rise to power high enough to demand Uber Eats let us ask for extra French dip gravy from Arby's even if we hafta pay a little extra? 😡😡😡😡

(Laugh at me now but never forget, I pummeled those poor bastards of at Burger King into submission last year!!!)

Thoughtful Questions. I Have Them.

When will The Podfather Bill Simmons finally give us the producer Craig Horlbeck/Van Lathan podcast we deserve???? 😡😡😡😡

Xmastime Second-Chance Books

WUTHERING HEIGHTS
Emily Bronté

LAST READ: 2009

PREVIOUS XMASTIME:

Well, I made myself finish Wuthering Heights. Or, as I call it, Assholes Standing Around Being Mean to Each Other. I usually have a policy of not making myself finish books just to finish them if I don't like them; finishing this one was a "fuck you" to...well, whomever. Why am I still single again?

It's Fall. It's been 15 years. It's time.

I Mean Camon

This is why I don't run it, you do it once and they expect you to do it every time. 😡

Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?

I've been engaged in an all-out war with a What's Happening!! Instagram I follow based on my growing suspicions that they were only feeding me content from the one episode in which Rerun was a page for ABC; right now I have no idea for sure whether they are or not and they have no idea they're even in this war, so....that's where we're at right now. Will keep you posted.

If You Didn't Laugh You'd Cry

A Wrap on This Shit (hopefully)

There really is something cynically vulgar in the Republican's seeming determination to take the single-most repulsive candidate they can find over any normal able & qualified candidate just to show they can; no other entity would've stuck with anybody or anything through so much for so little in return were it not for some grotesque fantasy of...what, I don't have any idea, but it's truly weird.

Do the Right Thing, People

Chevy Chase is what, 116 years old; are you telling me we can't get these motherfuckers into the Family Truckster once last time to recreate their original trip for us??? Camon!

Goodnight, Goodbye, Good Deez Nuts

Three days a week when I'm walking out of my work building lobby for the day I always make a point to acknowledge whoever's at the front desk with some variation of “good night”, but just now it’s occurred to me that when I’m walking through the lobby in the opposite direction in the morning it never occurs to me to say a “good morning” of any kind.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you say the same thing16 years ago about the kid who would inspire your first non-bestselling book?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:

Short Bus waves goodbye to things, but never says hello, even though it's the same arm motion and "hi" seems as easy to say as "bye", one would think. Somehow I feel there's a George Jones song in there somewhere.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeep. (Shrug Emoji Here)

Jon Meacham on the absolute terrifying prospect of Trump II & how we've all stood around waiting for it to happen:

It took a cataclysmic civil war to end slavery. It took an attack on Pearl Harbor by one Axis power and the subsequent declaration of war on us by Nazi Germany to bring America into the fight against fascism in the middle of the 20th century. And it took innumerable acts of nonviolent protest to end legalized segregation. We, in other words, never simply wake up one morning and decide to bend the arc of the universe toward justice. As the old aphorism puts it, Americans do the right thing only once we have exhausted every other possibility.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you point this phenomenon out sixteen years ago?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:

We're patting ourselves on the back for getting rid of Bush, but we are, as usual, about four years behind. And we STILL almost elected his successor, were it not for the financial crisis....which, what do you know, nobody bothered to do anything about until shit went tits up. TITS UP - this seems to be our modus operandi now; if you want any change at all, you hafta wait for complete disaster. Until global warming completely destroys a part of the country we give a shit about, nothing will be done on that. So to keep the auto industry in the status quo is to set us back years again re: alternate fuels and energy et al. Because unless they HAVE to change things, they won't. Why would they?

Don't bankroll them, make them go tits-up...and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, I'm guessing they'll "all of a sudden" start coming up with ideas they should've been implementing a long time ago.

Voting Day Tradition

One of the greatest emails I've ever gotten, on Election Day 2008. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Now Hear This 🇮🇪

I don't have any audio books to recommend, I've never actually listened to one myself, but I understand that people with real lives are pressed for time so if you must then I'd recommend any dead Irish writer; I've long loved checking in on Finnegan's Wake a few times a year just to gently fall into the flow of Joyce's incredible Irish rhythms, to the point that I don't really care what's happening in the actual book itself.

Another one of my favorite books ever by Irish writers is my beloved The Irish R.M. of course, so if you find yourself on a long drive and wanna be lifted along the road a bit by the lilting lull of some great Irish bullshit, you can listen to it all HERE.  🤗 🤣

I clipped one of my favorite lines from the book for myself, enjoy!

"They were 'Black Protestants', all of them, in virtue of their descent from a godly soldier of Cromwell, and all were prepared at any moment of the day or night to sell a horse."

Xmastime · IRISH RM Quote

RIP Quincy Jones

Was grouchy this morning...depressed. Lost a big game yesterday, then got shitfaced. Miserable. Dragged my ass to the grocery store, immediately got in lockstep with some grey panther who shuffled at 0 mph and had a fucking cast on her foot. No matter what food I wanted to look at, bam! there she was, hovering in front of it. Driving me fucking bananas. Ready to say fuck it, go home and pout all day. Then someone's cell phone started ringing.

 

...is it possible to NOT be cheered up by the theme to "Sanford & Son"? Unreal...those of us in earshot instantly perked up, and for once you didn't want the person to answer their phone, "let it ring!" you silently yell. Best part is, the dude knew it - let it ring as long as possible before answering. I swear, after he had hung up total strangers started going up to him, excited about his ring. And like a seasoned celeb he was not ruffled or surprised, he just nodded his head and agreed with everyone about how great it was as well all paid our respects. A great moment. Cruddy mood, gone. - XMASTIME, 2007

 

Let Me Tell You People Something

If you think you haven't heard worse political slogans than this one then you are lying to yourself, people.

Thank You I Believe I Will 😳😳😲😲 (Still Technically on Vacation for Another 71 Minutes)

OMG AM I ABOUT TO FIND LOVE????

Oh Oh

I think I just always assume since fruit's super-healthy for you it has no calories so imagine my surprise just now to find out grapes, which I've been hoovering by the bucket, do....and it's 60 calories per cup.... 😬 🍇

 

XML

It's been a while since I really took you people down Xmastime Memory Lane but this is my last day of a staycation so you'll forgive me for being maudlin; here's a a few gems that landed on Xmastime 15 years ago today:

I invented the HOW HOT WAS JESUS? meme that become de riguer, you're welcome very much

We were reminded that today is the 30th anniversary of when my squad of squads Idle played at my college

I celebrated the greatest email of all time, thank you Marley!

I had some amazing, prescient thoughts on what streaming would become, you're welcome very much

15 Years Ago Today 🥲😢😭😭😭