Insta du Jour

I'm not all "awwwwww baby!!" here but having the creativity to turn them into a rabbit & carrot totally blows me away, and frankly I'm surprised I've never seen one of these before? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Americans. We Are the Fucking Worst.

I bet if we had a national election every four years asking people to vote whether to give a billionaire or a homeless person $100,000 the billionaire would win every fucking time.

One Thing All of Us as Americans Can Agree On

If the Buffalo Bills were founded today they would 100% for sure be called the Buffalo Wings.

I’ll Say This

Say whatever you want about Kamala Harris but there’s a woman who knows how to disappear; I literally don’t think I’ve seen her face since about 7:30 on election night. 🤔🤷‍♂️

Okay I Hafta Say This Guys

The "former" is depressing in that it connotes the idea that REM could possibly be a thing without him; any REM fan would go absolutely scorched Earth if they even considered doing anything with another singer.

(This is from a talk last week about Stipe being a 2025 McNair Honoree, whateverthehell that is, you can watch it all here if you don't wanna just sit here listening to me bitch & moan about it.)

We Need More Corey Bookers

Scamps Like Us

 Moi Say Moi back in 2011:

People need to stop giving Trump shit about his hair. After all, we've seen it before, and we didn't seem to mind it when it was on the head of America's most lovable scamp, so lay off already.

I've been waiting for 14 years for someone else to notice this & so far The Daily Show just now has come the closest (but still not quite!!! Camon America!!! 😡😡😡😡)

Remembering Xmastime Memories with Xmastime

Ye olde schooner XMASTIME 10 years ago today:

Of all the kazillion things from Amazon someone could've stolen from my front door over all these years...but it's not as if they just grabbed the package and scurried down the block and then saw what their bounty was. This guy (OR girl! I am soooo woke, people!!) stopped, opened the package, saw that it was a book of Thomas Hardy poems, was apparently delighted and took the book while leaving the packaging, therein making him (OR her! I am soooo woke, people!) the most curiously specific thief of all time.

This, ladies and gentlemen and gentle ladies and ladymen, is that very package at that very moment. (Curtsy)

 

These Smiley $%@!ing Potato Things

...I don't know much, I am not a smart man, but one thing I do know for damn sure is that the number of people who have tried these goddam things and did not absolutely fucking love them is exactly 0.

State du Moi

At Wegmans with Heroin blasting through my skull waiting for a price check on my Regenerist micro-sculpting moisturizer like a goddam real-live American badass.

Lockdown Memories

The Dark Knights of the Night out on patrol!! 🤗😜🤣🐶 #paddymac #scooter

We ❤️ You Conan O' Brien 🤗🕺

Really, really fantastic snack-sized sit-down in 2008 with Conan's explicit/insightful thoughts on what he thinks is funny. 🤗🤣❤️🕺

Questions. I Have Them.

I mentioned the whole Trump-running-for-a-3rd-time thing earlier; one of the possible scenarios being bandied about is one in which JD Vance is elected president but immediately cedes the presidency to his vice president Donald Trump and so I guess my only question is has the TV movie of the Week script already been written yet in which when the moment comes Vance refuses to cede power, kicking off a bloody war between the two factions?

FFS PEOPLE I CAN’T COME UP WITH ALL THE GREAT IDEAS!!!

I'll Bet You This...

..13 years later Rick Pitino really coulda used the stone-cold genius of Al McGuire. 🤗🕺🏀 

Oh Fuck You Too, Spotify 😡

They Got Me

On the Metro when I saw this I was THIS close to pulling the emergency stop cord (or push the emergency cord button, whatever you hafta do) and burning down the entire goddam train system with my rage before it dawned on me what today's date was. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

NEW XMASTIME SERIES: This Puppy is a Pervy-Ass Motherfucker

Xmastime 10 Years Ago Today

YYYYAAAASSSSSSSSS THE NEW YORKER!!! 🤗🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tho to be fair it'd be funnier if "all" was underlined instead of "toes".

Shitty Joke du Jour (for now)

That's incredible, I've drunk my share of Coca Colas in my life & I can't recall any one of them no matter how hard I try. 🤷‍♂️

Current Events

Lotta talk going around about Trump musing on figuring out how to have a 3rd term as president, which I think is silly since if he decides he wants to run for president again then Republicans will do whatever it takes to make sure he can run for president again; personally I’m less worried about him being in the next presidential election than I am there not being another presidential election.

Netflix Series Ideas. I Have Them.

A band who only writes songs with the chords in alphabetical order.

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS EVERYBODY!!

Work is Work

After a meeting today I commented to a colleague "we were like Lennon & McCartney in there" to which he asked "which one am I?" and I said "neither".

LARRY BIRD, Legendary Velvet Underground Fan

Computer Shortcut Zen by Theodore, Ultra-Conservative Right-Wing Stuffed Bear

"Why cut when you can copy? Why copy when you can cut? Remember: it's all part of the same paste."

🤔🤯🕺