It's Gonna Get Worse Before it Gets Worse

Based on how every single day Trump seems to somehow be getting even more revolting as a human being and there's absolutely no signs of anyone asking him to pump the brakes a bit, this seems truer now than back in July when I wrote it:

...it seems as if for tens of millions of Republicans, electing a black man president somehow "broke the seal" on demanding our candidates be somewhat "decent" and "normal"; in their eyes electing someone who's black somehow gave them license to say "fuck it, we can just push the most repulsive fucker we can find to carry out our most disgusting shit against people", since in their eyes being black was an even bigger crime.

 

And I'll bet good money it's even truer a week from today, you can bet $$$$ on that shit.

Thank God for Jeff Barry

I've posted the full interview clip of Jeff Barry talking about working with Phil Spector a few times over the years, and I've always been in love with this impromptu run-through of Da-Doo Ron Ron he does while explaining how he'd written it with his wife/songwriting parter Ellie Greenwich. So it turns out that besides writing such stone-cold classics such as Do Wah Diddy Diddy, Da Doo Ron Ron, Then He Kissed Me, Be My Baby, and River Deep - Mountain High, Barry just sitting there running thru a DIFFERENT version of one those massive hits is still a better song that 99% of songs ever made! Incredible; I would sprint to the record store tomorrow and pay whatever $ for a full-on version of this!!!! 🤗🥲

CAN ONE OF YOU RICH PEOPLE FUCKING PONY UP SOME $$CASH$$ AND GET JEFF BARRY TO RECORD A FULL VERSION OF THIS VERY SOON PLEASE?!?!?! (he's 86!).

 

Life Can Be Long

As a human being, your best hope is to eventually die in a world you wouldn’t recognize as a child. - XMASTIME, just 3 weeks ago.

Now I see this; this woman was born 3 years after the Civil War & she literally may have heard Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols, which is bananas.😲 🤯

“Nothing is the same, everything is changed.” Florence Pannel, born in 1868, interviewed in 1977. What an incredible accent. pic.twitter.com/fkqBenD4LC

— Bobbie (@bo66ie29) October 12, 2024

Speaking of Martin Scorcese

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who's been screaming for decades how weird it is that Casino is so similar to Goodfellas.

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

The brain trust at Seinfeld didn't make too missteps throughout its 9-year run but they wildly overestimated how much we'd ever give a shit about anything having to do with Crazy Joe Davola. 😴😴😴😴

Too Easy.

Geena Davis in Thelma & Louise, Jennifer Esposito in Summer of Sam and Sarah Silverman on The Larry Sanders Show.

Making Lemons Out of Lemonade

I'll be honest, I'm pretty surprised this is the first execution for death by baby shaking. And I don't know why The New York Times - or, as I call them, "The Times" - had to choose the creepiest picture of all time either, but here we are.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn’t you rather magically get a light-hearted moment out of such a dark subject on your first zillion-selling masterpiece?”

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:

    “But you know what I think of when I think about that hospital room?”
    “Wha Rats?”
    He was all business, and had wiped away the last pretend tear from his Daddy Amazing’s leaving routine.
    “I don’t know if it’s true, but someone told me there’s a room in the hospital where they show a video of people shaking newborn babies out of frustration. Can you believe that?”
    “Shaking baby Rats?”
    His brow was furrowed. The Doctor was officially concerned.
    “Yeah, I guess whenever anyone has a kid they show them this video, hoping it’s so horrifying to watch that nobody will shake their kid after seeing it.”
    “No! No shake baby, Rats!”
    “That’s right, buddy, you don’t shake babies. But all I could think about was how funny it’d be to sit in the back of that room and, when there’s some poor couple watching it who’ve just had their first baby and are scared senseless as it is, as soon as someone starts shaking the baby onscreen just start busting out laughing, right? Ha!”

Another Beatles Doc? YAAASSSSSSS PLEEEEEEEASE!

Martin Scorcese has a documentary about The Beatles all set to come out in November?!?!?!?!

The film features never-before-seen footage by documentarians Albert and David Maysles and will focus on the band’s first trip to the United States in February 1964, when they appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show and performed at the Washington Coliseum.

I'm hoping it's a little better than Scorcese's 2011 4-hour documentary on George Harrison:

Finally, the film really never investigates the real mystery of Harrison: What was he so morose about? Harrison always had a sense of the aggrieved about him. I just don't know what the source of it was. In Harrison's mini-autobiography at the front of I Me Mine, the unasked-for collection of his song lyrics, he seems mostly unhappy about … the travel indignities he suffered during the Beatles years.

Weird that I can't seem to find the running length for this, and while my instinct is to roll my eyes at the possibility that there's still unseen Beatles footage out there I was pleasantly surprised by some of Ron Howard's Eight Days a Week, so. 🤷‍♂️ 

I Mean FFS...

...are people just printing beer cans one by one now? 😜 🤣🕺

When You Find The Happy Scene Record Below Its Usual $0.08 Asking Price.

Not if It Was Bojangles

"What's the Best Movie Moment Where a Character REALIZES Something?"

On McDonald's New Chicken Big Mac

“It’s a Big Mac T, except it’s chickens.”

WAIT WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THE PLANE???!?!??! 😲😲😲😲😲

Too Easy

Oh PUH-lease you people already know my answer, I've been saying it for years & years now. 🤗🤣🥲🥲

Big Windows, to Let in the Sun

This is an incredible document of the peak of 1980s Minneapolis rock, featuring Grant Hart & Bob Mould from Husker Du & Dave Pirner from Soul Asylum. I'm thrilled to hear a great version of Rain at the end and this version of Flexible Flyer is now in the canon, but mostly I am sputtering at my screen right now: wait, so Grant Hart had 2541 all ready to go but Husker Du never recorded it? Dafuck???

XMASTIME TRIES THE NEW CHICKEN BIG MAC FROM MCDONALD'S

Yowza du Jour

BREAKING: Family’s Finally Had It with Theo’s Endless Bullshit

Cap Doffed du Jour

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I don't know if this is supposed to be funny or not but I'd be fascinated to eventually read some report on exactly how much of an insane wilful transfer of wealth this industry has engineered since it exploded into existence within the last 20 years.

And Oh Yeah....

...since everybody's gonna be talking Saturday Night Live with the release of this movie, it's a good time to remind everybody that this time I actually DID do the research and anybody who tries to tell you the show used to be "hysterical!" and sucks now is just full of shit.

Dear God Please Let This Be It for This Shithead Today

Xmastime in 2017:

First Sheriff Joe, then Sheriff David Clarke and now these sh*theads. I think the lesson to learn here is that if you're a sheriff and somehow become famous, it's probably because you're a giant asshole. 

So of course it makes total sense now that Trump thinks he's running for Asshole Sheriff of America.

WELL Well Well...

 ...I see this seems to be a universal problem out there:

BUT OH YES, you people are in luck! This JUST SO HAPPENS to be one of the conundrums I've provided an answer to in my latest non-best seller!!

Still 100% True