Kids Today.

Dig this.

A boy whose parents are accused of making their special-needs adopted children sleep in cages testified Thursday that the couple forced him to live in the bathroom as punishment for bed wetting.

Kid. Stop crying. At least the one room they let you stay in was the BATHROOM!!...which is lucky, seeing as you seem to have a problem pissing yourself. Maybe if you got caught beating off you woulda gotten stuffed in Mom's lingerie drawer. Which, of course, you would've immediately filled with piss.

"I couldn't come out of my room until I wrote the whole book of Deuteronomy," he said. "I was up there for like a month."

Are you fucking retarded? Sneak out, hit the local Kinkos. Camon. Take an hour to copy it, spend the next few weeks learning how to fart in a mason jar. Do kids even have brains these days?

The Gravelles are trying to regain custody of the 11 children, ages 1 to 15, who have problems such as fetal alcohol syndrome, HIV and a disorder in which children eat dirt. One girl's head was shoved in a toilet by a parent because she was drinking water out of it

Sounds like someone is crying out for some attention from a gentleman.... (applying Canoe cologne). This girl would be a cheap date. Doesn't mind drinking outta the bowl, is okay eating dirt. Wouldn't be in a rush to get home to her abusive parents, so would be receptive to staying over. Give her a mild deformity, like puppy foot, so that she is thrilled that a male is even paying attention to her, and I do believe I've found Mrs. Xmastime.

He described various punishments for wetting the bed. "We'd have to go upstairs and scrub it. The younger ones would get spanked. We would have to go pull a bucket of weeds," he said.

Boy that is tough. I remember when I was a kid and wet my bed, my parents would have a big parade for me, then take me to Mickey D's and let me fill up on anything I wanted, all while telling me how much they loved me as a few hookers they bought blew me. Hmm. I remember weeding, too. It's called The "I don’t own this house, my father does, so when he says 'I just fed you, you're wearing clothes I bought under my roof, get your fat ass outside and weed'" Law. go figure.

Fucking kids. Shut the fuck up, get in your cage, and stop pissing/drinking outta the bowl!