The Joy of Xmastime

One of the few things in this life I have left to enjoy is when all my roommates are gone. The second the last dude has shut the door behind him my clothes immediately explode off of my body and “Naked Night” kicks off in full force. And since everybody’s gone for the whole next week it becomes, you guessed it, “Naked Week.” Last night while sprawled on my couch naked, wowing my own nakedness, I struck upon an easy white-trash Naked Night dish for you guys.

Chef Boyardee Ravioli Lasagna

INGREDIENTS:
3 cans of Chef Boyardee Meat Ravioli
18 slices white American cheese

Take ravioli out of cans and drain/rinse off the sauce. We want them fairly dry; there will be enuff of a taste of sauce still on the ravioli. It’s only Chef Boyardee, it’s not like I’m asking you to toss out Ragu. In a small casserole dish, lay out the ravioli - 4 rows of 4. All the cans I used last night had exactly 16 raviolis. Perhaps this number is a nod to Italy, as in the same number of letters in “Shaped like a booot”? And yes I added an extra “o” to get to sixteen letters. Get off my ass – I don’t have a job, I haven’t had a girlfriend since 1995 and every day on the TV guide thingee they list a double shot of “What’s Happening!” coming on at 9pm, but when I gleefully flip to it at 9 they fucking show Andy Griffith. Every day for the last week I have fallen for this, and I am not fucking pleased. The two hours I spent rubbing my nakedness on every cd my roommate owns barely cheers me up. Anyway. Moving on. Take cheese slices and layer them on top of raviolis, now repeat the ravioli and cheese layers two more times, stick in oven and wait for cheese to melt and turn a nice bubbly brown. Mmmm!! Sit back on couch, turn to repeat of “The Real World” and enjoy. And since it’s Naked Week and nobody's around, you can shit afterwards with the bathroom door wide open. Sigh. I don't know what heaven is gonna be like, but if it tops shitting with the door open I'll be surprised. Salut!