Rudy, Rudy, Rudy

I see Rudy is running for Prez. Good for him, now he can go after the hot dog vendors in all 50 states. Wow! Go get 'em Rudy!

Of course, some things about this rankle ol Xmastime. Last night on "Hannity & The Ugliest Guy in the World" Rudy was wowing about his having the opportunity to run for President since there he was, just a kid from Brooklyn. Really? The tiny, small town of Brooklyn? Wow! Good for you! Surely you'll be on the front page of your local rag, "Small town Boy Does Good!" What a scrapper! That's one for the little guys!! Maybe there can be a bit about you in "Hoosiers 2."

Also, apparently George Will is making the claim that Rudy should be prez because in the event of a nuke coming at us, who else would you want in charge for those 7 minutes? Hmm. Actually, it's the other 2,102,393 minutes of his term I'd be worried about - him being "America's Mayor" and basically running because he didn't shit himself and curl up in ball on 9/11 means he'd really be able to hammer home the fear, sending in the stormtroopers and making me ashamed I'd desire such things as health insurance or education. "How could you ask for that!!!!! THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL US!! GET BACK IN YOUR FREEDOM BOX AND SHUT UP!!!" My life blows as it is, I'm not into making it even worse for "7 minutes." The only 7 minutes in my life I'd do that for involve a building vestibule and an Asian soft-core porn star, so camon.

Personally, I don't mind Rudy; him gutting violent crime in NYC alone makes him a great mayor. But there's no way he'll get the GOP nomination. Oh, now that he's running I'm sure he'll "rethink" some of his lefty ways, I'm sure he'll have a change of heart re: gays and abortion etc, sprinting towards to right with his lips pursed. But if there's anything the right has taught us through the last few years its that if you get married 3 times (insert "but one was to a cousin, which will play well in the South" joke here) or have sex with someone who's NOT your wife, then you have no sense of "values" and are going straight to H-E-L-L. I mean for chrissake, we're still trying to explain to our children how Clinton's blowjob has ruined America and kept Jesus from coming back!!

Plus haven't we been taught by these fuckwads that NYC is the devil itself? Wouldn't Rudy be considered part of the "blue state elite" since he's from here and, you know, went to college? SURELY not a guy you'd wanna "have a beer with", right? dude's been to Europe for chrissake!! Book-smart!! NO THANK YOU!

And if ALL OF A SUDDEN these nitwits decide oh no, it's okay to have done all that stuff now that it's their guy that has had some shenanigans, then they're hypocrites to the extreme, completely full of shit. Or, even worse, a








er.