I am 643 minutes into my first ever self-imposed exile from television. I've decided to see if I can ONE week without watching tv. Instead of reading, exercising or becoming a better citizen I have spent the better part of the last decade staring open-mouthed at this thing, my brain and body turning to mush. One week. We'll see if I can do it...I have serious doubts. I will get back to being the voracious reader I was many lifetimes ago, and maybe get my old, dusty need-to-be-oiled muscles out of storage.
WHICH LEADS ME TO....
After 10 years of being, for lack of a better word, FAT...wait...husky better?...naw, gotta use "fat"...I have realized you know, enough is enough. I'm not the fat kid, wasn't born fat, was once a proud athlete. Settling into this Jabba the Hut Coat of chicken skin has made me the lonely, unenergetic lump of nothing I've been. Well. At least has been a huge contributor. Yes, I know, I'm still funny. Or, as you really wanna say, "jolly." Fuck yew. This final impetus was a few weeks ago, uncovered some old videotapes of yours truly. Strapping! 180 lbs!!!! An amazing specimen!! Well. Not fat, at least....startling to remember hey, you weren't always like this, dumbass. Quit being a fatass, you've wasted a decade. So I am proclaiming here and now: by the last day of 2007, I will be under 200 lbs or I'm just gonna fucking kill myself by sticking my head in the oven. And just to bring home the humiliation of being defeated by fat of all things, I will do it while baking a fresh batch of cinnamon raisin rolls, right by my head. I will give regular updates on here re: my progress. Will exercise every day and learn to eat like a fucking human. Wish me luck!
right now, I'd normally be watching "Frasier." sigh.
3 comments:
:) Good for you!
I seem to remember someone looking at least slightly fat in the EHS BBall's Fag Shorts. Of course, even Buuufff looked fat in those shorts.
wow Xmas, thats great. perhaps you will join my dog & I for a stroll through the neigborhood? J.
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