Xmastime Warming

Apparently, on Capitol Hill they seem to think they’re all of a sudden gonna bust Al Gore on global warming. Now, a heads-up I would give to these people is hey, guess what......he’s been talking about this for fucking 30 years. He wrote a fucking book called “Earth in the Balance” about, oh, 16 years ago. The slideshow that became the movie “An Inconvenient Truth” is a slideshow presentation he’s given over 1000 times. This is typical, short-sighted fucking hell I’ll say it STUPID rationale we are beginning to see over and over not only in this particular argument, but with our government in particular. Hey, guess what dumbasses? This isn’t some home-made short film about co-ed volleyball at St. Padre Al decided to show up and collect a check on; he’s been working on it since he was at Harvard a million years ago. This isn’t “hey, let’s ask Roy Scheider about sharks dammit!!!” To show you how fucking stupid and short-sighted these people are, I, XMASTIME, who we all know is about as dumb as fucking...well hell, I can’t think of anything, but he’s dumb...if Xmastime can answer these questions, they’re you’re (the questioners) are fucking idiots, I hope you enjoyed the free bagels, now get the fuck out.

INTRO PARAGRAPH
“Temperatures are predicted to reach a high of only 43-degrees on Wednesday in Washington, but look for high-heat to come out of Al Gore's scheduled appearances on The Hill!”

FIRST OF ALL: Along with several articles in the past few weeks, I note the GLEE whenever there’s a meeting on global warning and it gets snowed out. “Oh well” they shrug, laughing, “where’s the global warming now?” Yeah, that’s right jackass, cause Gore is saying the world is going to end....ON TUESDAY!! You’re an idiot. Hey, for the last 2,000 years you’ve been telling me Jesus is coming back...how’s that going, wonderfuck? Gee whiz, I went to church the other day...and there was no second coming!!!! Must mean there’s no God, right? Hmmmm....

“You have said several times that we have 10 years to act to stave off global warming. Was that 10 years from the first time you said that or 10 years from now? We just wanted to get a firm date from you that we can hold you to.”

The serious answer? Hey, if you don’t care enough about your own planet to ask a real question, you should leave the room. The Xmastime answer? Why don’t we assume he means 10 years from right NOW; i.e. maybe instead of thinking “oh well, if only he had caught me last Monday I’d do something about our planet being destroyed!” you can be more like “maybe I shouldn’t be Dick Cheney.” We can’t find Bin Laden, we can’t figure out who killed Kennedy and HELLO, WE HAVE IT ON FILM!!!, we still have NO idea where George W. Bush - you know, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, was for an 18-month period in the 70s, yet unless Gore can nail down this tipping point to the millisecond, well then gee it’s not worth me turning off my puppies and gold-fueled Hummer. Christ. You win, fuckface!

"How can you continue to claim that global warming on Earth is primarily caused by mankind when other planets (Mars, Jupiter and Pluto) with no confirmed life forms and certainly no man-made industrial greenhouse gas emissions also show signs of global warming? Wouldn’t it make more sense that the sun is responsible for warming since it is the common denominator?"

Okay, to use your three examples....number one, Pluto? You wanna base an argument re: “other planets” on Pluto?

“On Aug. 24, 2006, at a meeting of the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in Prague, astronomers voted to downgrade Pluto's status. It is no longer considered to belong in the same category as Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune”

This might be something you wanna be aware of if you’re about to enter an argument about science. You MIGHT wanna know what is a, you know, “planet.” You fucking dumb shit.

Jupiter? Gee Professor, another good one...there’s no carbon dioxide on Jupiter. I figured that out after about 20 seconds on the web; I hope you can come up with another question for Gore that’s better than the above one. Do...do people even say "the web" anymore? Yeesh.

And the best for last? Mars. Okay, now you might think you have a case; what 2 planets are more alike than these two? Surely Mars will prove you point!!!

Well. Let’s see. ...Gore’s movie studied the effects of carbon dioxide over the last 650,000 years on Earth....Yes, you read that right. 650,000 years. Now, after 650,000 years and coming to a point wherein we even ARGUE that global warming is a problem, what’s our carbon dioxide count? How fucked are we?

Earth: 0.04% carbon dioxide
Mars:?

Mars is 95.72% carbon dioxide

So maybe that, once again, is a foolish comparison.

"Joseph Romm, the executive director for the Center for Energy and Climate Solutions, has said we must build 700 large nuclear plants to stave off climate change. Where do you stand on the need for nuclear energy?

Gore: "I’m for it." Dumbass.

Do you think the earth is significantly overpopulated and that is a major contributor to your view of climate change. If yes, what do you think is a sustainable population for the planet?

Both questions were answered extensively in the flick...which you obviously didn't watch dickface.

I love it. These idiots think Gore has just picked up on this to get votes for his maybe Prez campaign? Fucking idiots. My big hope is he sends out one of those kids on "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" to roll their eyes while answering these questions, forcing the questioners to annunce to the world, into the camera, "I am not smarter than a fifth grader...and Nathalie Holloway is chained in my pool house."