I'm a Loser

15 pounds in 13 days since I started my 30-Day Challenge. Not bad. Though I need to walk more; I'm getting about an hour in a day, but prolly should be doing two. Coupla years ago I lost about 75 pounds just from walking an hour a day. I still ate like an animal and lost it in about 6 months. So I figure my new eating habits along with the walking will get me to my goal fast enough. I need an iPod; if I had an iPod I'd be walking constantly. Cause then I can listen to music, which is what I'd wanna be doing anyway.

To be honest, it hasn't even been that hard. I'm not panicking for a beer (though I need to quit pounding liquor as if it was beer. ugh.) Soda I could give a shit about other than it's always around, always easily accessible. And fast food, you just have to take ten seconds and decide you know what, no thanks. And even though I'm not on a "diet" and can pretty much eat whatever I want, the success in achieving these other things have affected my decisions...the other day we were ordering from a restaurant and I ordered the chicken parm hero. Then I thought about and said you know what, fuck it, I'll have a salad.

Just like not watching tv for a week, it's been easier than I thought, and to be honest, without getting gay here, it really does make me feel like you know what, maybe I CAN do wahtever I want. Become successful. Get a woman. Be an adult. Whatever. Maybe I don't have to be the biggest loser in the room just cause fuck it, it's easier. I'm learning that with a MINIMAL bit of effort, just a little bit, I can actually do something worthwhile other than just thinking nah, it'll be too hard, I'll just stay being a big fat loser; it's probably impossible and I'll fail anyway. Maybe I'm a little stronger than I thought. Actually, I guess I'm just letting myself be as strong as I am, with just a little bit of effort.

So we'll see. Maybe in another two weeks I'll have gained 45 pounds. But hey. A good start.