You know, Bill Maher, in a comedy special from what looks like about 15 or so years ago, said that the reason we get so wrapped up in the sex lives of politicians and use such scandals to judge the candidates is because we just don’t really understand, or TRY to understand much else. That sounds about right to me. So and so’s plans on changing the tax laws? I don’t get that, nor am I gonna take time to read up on it; but hey, he cheated on his wife? Well, then he’s a scumbag who would be a terrible president, so I’m not voting for him. That’s that. Same thing with church. I have no idea what so and so is talking about re: foreign policy, but he goes to church every week and talks about Jesus a lot, so he’d probably make a great president. So that’s that. Cause...everyone in this country who goes to church would be fine behind the wheel. Hmm.
Also, aren’t there any Republicans out there at least secretly ashamed that after over a decade of screeding that anyone even remotely connected to Hollywood is the Devil himself they are pinning their hopes to...an actor. I love this. And they sound so fucking stupid. “Oh, Fred Thompson would be a great President, he looks so strong, so...presidential!” Hey, Will Smith was great in Independence Day, why not make him Secretary of Defense? All while the daily canonizations of Ronnie Ray-Gun pile up exponentially. They all desperately wanna be him, even though he came from...Hollywood. Which I thought was Hell multiplied by Hades multiplied by Rosie O’Donnell.
Which in and of itself is fine. But that means you have to shut the fuck up and not roll your eyes and out of hand dismiss anyone else from Hollywood (Alec Baldwin, mostly) anytime they say something you don’t agree with. I understand your pickings right now are slim, having to choose between Older than Medusa Crazy and I Married My Cousin Crazy, but at least keep your mouth shut and swallow your own bullshit for once.
13 comments:
I was hoping the diet would diminish your hackneyed political Andy Rooneyesque forays.
"You know, Bill Maher, in a comedy special from what looks like about 15 or so years ago, said that the reason we get so wrapped up in the sex lives of politicians and use such scandals to judge the candidates is because we just don’t really understand, or TRY to understand much else. That sounds about right to me."
PROBLEM #1 - Citing Bill Maher, akin to citing Gallagher.
"So and so’s plans on changing the tax laws? I don’t get that, nor am I gonna take time to read up on it; but hey, he cheated on his wife? Well, then he’s a scumbag who would be a terrible president, so I’m not voting for him. That’s that. Same thing with church. I have no idea what so and so is talking about re: foreign policy, but he goes to church every week and talks about Jesus a lot, so he’d probably make a great president. So that’s that. Cause...everyone in this country who goes to church would be fine behind the wheel. Hmm."
Problem #2 - Xmastime's guise is the sly dumbshit, the man-on-the-street just hustling for a hoagie. But when he goes away from that guise, he has to stand in uncomfortable shoes, wherein he casts off his po' boy image and trades it in for that of an intellectual superior (implicit in his criticism is the separation he suggests between himself - educated and no rube - and the rest of dumb America, a bizarre conceit given his opening source wisdom - Bill Maher). This is a funny-sucker and is particularly offensive to Xmastime's principal charm - regular Joe.
"Also, aren’t there any Republicans out there at least secretly ashamed that after over a decade of screeding that anyone even remotely connected to Hollywood is the Devil himself they are pinning their hopes to...an actor. I love this. And they sound so fucking stupid. “Oh, Fred Thompson would be a great President, he looks so strong, so...presidential!” Hey, Will Smith was great in Independence Day, why not make him Secretary of Defense? All while the daily canonizations of Ronnie Ray-Gun pile up exponentially. They all desperately wanna be him, even though he came from...Hollywood. Which I thought was Hell multiplied by Hades multiplied by Rosie O’Donnell."
PROBLEM #3 - While inveighing against imaginary Republicans who sound "so fucking stupid," Xmastime time sounds stupider and even less funny. One of the two thrusts of the commentary - that Republicans may support a moron actor - ignores that Thompson was co-chief counsel to the Senate Watergate Committee, a U.S. Senator, guided the nomination of John Roberts through the United States Senate confirmation process, is the chair of the International Security Advisory Board, is on the Council on Foreign Relations, is a former member of the United States-China Economic and Security Review Commission and a Visiting Fellow with the American Enterprise Institute.
The second thrust - GOP hypocrisy - is so simplistic as to be shameful. Clearly, the GOP is quite happy with Hollywood mavens who show affinity for GOP positions, like Charlton Heston or Bruce Willis or the increasingly popular Bo Derek. Naturally, and not-at-all unsurprisingly, the GOP is critical of the Hollywood Left (largely because of what the Hollywood Left has to say, as opposed to the fact that the leftism is emanating from Hollywood).
Another massive issue - the retread of Richard Belzer's classic "Ronnie Ray-gun" - again bringing into question Xmastime's judgment in terms of source material.
"Which in and of itself is fine. But that means you have to shut the fuck up and not roll your eyes and out of hand dismiss anyone else from Hollywood (Alec Baldwin, mostly) anytime they say something you don’t agree with. I understand your pickings right now are slim, having to choose between Older than Medusa Crazy and I Married My Cousin Crazy, but at least keep your mouth shut and swallow your own bullshit for once."
PROBLEM #4 - This is unfunny, retread cheerleading, the kind of thing you'd expect Elaine Boozler to offer.
Eat a hoagie. Bring back the funny.
I stand by everything except accidentally quoting Belzer. thats gay.
Baby steps, ya' big fag. Baby steps.
Hold your peace, Mr. Xmastime. Don't do it! Drop the roll....
So much for gentle readers. Sheesh...
Don't be intimidated by this well-read thinking reasoning bow-tie donning commentator. Think of it this way.
It's all debatable and you have met your match. You have earned the attention and time it took to type AND bold type all of these valid comments...
Marley is a real man (woman?) of genious...We salute you Xmastime for stirring the fires of Marley.
"genious"?
Am I dealing with a fellow Brit or a cretin?
My goal is to preserve the funny. When Xmastime starts swinging outside his comfort zone, we're all losers in the end.
Moreover, it is not all debatable. That lazy thinking results in a democratic criticism that is accessible, yes, but ultimately degrading.
Don't condescend to Xmastime. He's an adult. He can get smaller, but he need not diminish himself.
Fellow Brit OR a cretin? I say, it's either one or the other, is it? But a lowly servant in the field, I should lean more towards the Cretin.
'Condescending' would imply that I am speaking from a position of superiority, which, unlike you, I am not. Not educated in details of politics, so rather than deal with the subject matter, which you so accurately refute, I feel compelled to side up against the bully in you.
Is this what we've come to? Solid, frank criticism from a specter beyond the grave is "bullying"? Actually, in modern discourse, this is indeed what we have come to, which is why Xmastime's rhetorical excesses have never been remedied nor will they be for some time (my quest is arduous).
This is the condescension of which I speak. Not intellectual, but emotional.
Xmastime must be protected. Thus, his descent into the asinine (and most importantly, his full-throttle retreat from the funny) cannot be identified, for fear that he may feel the sand kicked in his face.
There is no question I speak from a position of superiority, but it is not merely political. It is in toto, and as Xmastime's (and your) superior, I assure you that harsh as my words may seem, they are ameliorative, if only you'll allow them to be.
So why do I feel like I am talking to Darth Vader?
Shall we keep up the jolly old rot or can we come down to Earth and chat a bit?
What are you drinkin, Limey?
;)
Vader is attractive, I concede. Let's chat.
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