/* MOBILE FIX: stop forcing desktop min-width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } .date-header { background: #000 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .date-header span { background: transparent !important; } .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; } /* --- XMastime fixes: titles + date bars + mobile --- */ /* Post titles: stop random centering */ h3.post-title, h2.post-title, .post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* Date header: make the black bar extend full width */ .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* Mobile: stop forcing huge desktop width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* FORCE post titles consistent */ .post-title, .post-title a, h2.post-title, h3.post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* FORCE full-width date bar across common Blogger structures */ .date-header, .date-header span, .post-header, .post-header-line-1, .post-header-line-1 span, .post-outer .post-header-line-1, .post-outer .post-header, .blog-posts .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; margin: 0 !important; } /* prevent inner bits from “breaking” the bar */ .date-header *, .post-header *, .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* MOBILE: stop the fixed 1218px width behavior */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body, .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* DATE HEADER: make the black bar go full width */ .date-outer, /* FORCE FULL WIDTH DATE BAR NO MATTER WHAT */ .date-outer, .date-posts, .date-posts h2, .date-posts h3, .date-header, h2.date-header, h3.date-header { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 10px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; margin: 0 0 18px 0 !important; } /* force the TEXT itself orange and remove any weird inner box */ .date-posts span, .date-header span, .date-posts h2 span, .date-posts h3 span { background: transparent !important; color: #ff6600 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; } -->

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Pol Pot

Anyone who has ever read this blog or has been in my presence for more than 7 minutes knows about my predeliction for sitting on the hopper for 40 minutes at a time, thanks to a childhood spent without being able to sit for more than 12 seconds before getting yelled at to get out. I gotta brush my teeth, shave, whatever - before or after I'm done I'm sitting on the bowl and taking my sweet time. If I even try to WALK by a shitter, I'm like hmmmm....and curl up with a Southern Living.

My shower routine has always been (and yes, I know it's a huge waste of water) go in, turn on the the shower, then sit down and read for 20 minutes. Okay, MAYbe rub one out to memories of rainbows, dreams and bleached asshole hairs I once found in a Hardee's. Anyway, I always set the shower to how I like it and then let it run while I sit. So after a while the whole joint steams up, I'm sweating, the wallpaper's pealing. I mean from the shower, not from what's happening on the "apparatus."

All of a sudden, after all the years, it shot to my head today...."hey dumbfuck...you can set the shower to cold while it's just running, then crank it to hot when you're ready."

Always learning.

4 comments:

Rambler said...

We have the same shower routine. I read the paper in the shower as well. I'm Kramer in there. All I need is a garbage disposal and a phone and I'm never getting out!

Anonymous said...

this scares me just a little bit.

Xmastime said...

coupla dudes showering as if synchronized. nuthin weird about that, friend.

Anonymous said...

It's too much pressure to rub one out in the shower. You need quiet time and a trusty fuck mag or juicy memory. Or maybe Xmastime's piquant description of the journey of a certain drop of teenaged sweat. Ew!