Friday, November 16, 2007

Another Day Another Debate

Somehow I got sucked into watching most of the unwatchable Democratic Debate last night – how many more of these do we have, 400? Fucking Christ. First of all, one thing about these debates that has to fucking go is each candidate taking his first 2 minutes of the night thanking everyone on the planet for having them. “Oh, and the wonderful, wonderful people of Nevada…” each one gasps, shaking their heads as if they’ve just now discovered human beings. Christ. So with 800 candidates up there repeating this shit we have about 14 seconds at the end of the night for the "debate." Enuff!!! We get it! The moderator should take 15 seconds in the beginning to announce “All the candidates greatly appreciate the hospitality you nice people have given, not one of them hates you and wishes your state, AND ONLY YOUR STATE, could be blown off the map. Let’s get started.” Does anyone change their vote because of how much a candidate blathers his thanks before a debate? Then again, don’t answer that.

The one good thing about this one is that by now guys like Biden and Kucinich don’t even pretend anyone’s there to listen to them – all anyone wants to hear is Barack or Hillary. So now they’re like the bad dudes in the back of the classroom, I kinda started to expect to catch them passing a brown bag back and forth, or a note that said “Hillary’s fat YES OR NO CIRCLE ONE.” We can at least dream that by next debate they’ll be openly wise-asses; I’ll even settle for the ol’ sneeze while saying “bullshit!” everytime Barack or Hillary open their mouths. And I can’t be the only one thinking “Is that Horshack?!?!” whenever Kucinich was waving his arm “ooh! Ooh! Ooh, me!! I didn’t get to answer!!” Love it. Who needs shitty tv writers with this stuff?

But it makes no sense to me how far behind Biden is. I mean, he’s not even an afterthought anymore. What the fuck happened? What’d I miss? He’s funny, experienced, does nothing but make sense and always seems like the adult in the room. He’s Gore with a personality. I must be missing something re: why this guy isn’t even on the radar. Behind Richardson? Are you fucking kidding me?

Also, they kept saying that the President’s job is to protect the Constitution and the people of the US. I’m scratching my head thinking actually, doesn’t he promise to protect the Constitution? Not “the land”? Whenever an internal question like that comes up I automatically defer to the fact that I’m an idiot and assume I’m wrong. But then I see my thoughts confirmed by Andrew Sullivan here. What the fuck –how do I know this and these motherfuckers don’t ? Aaaaaarrrgggghhhh!!!

Anyways. The debates are worthless but I must say - as they go on and Biden and Kucinich say “fuck this” and allow themselves to become unhinged and entertain the masses, I’ll fucking be there to watch it.

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