Oh, HELL No

I'm pretty sure I'll never hafta go through any of the ol' "scared of the girlfriend's father" nonsense in this lifetime. I'm 35 now. And let's face it - I'm such a loser jerkoff of a mess that even if I started getting my shit togther right now, I'd prolly be 38 by the time I got a girlfriend worthy enough of bothering to meet her folks. And if I ever do get my fer-shizzle together I'll definiely be the king of the beach so I'll most like be tapping some 24 or 25 year old ass. Which would make her father about 6 or 7 years older than me. I'm sorry, but I'm not doing the respectful, you're so scary routine with some fuckwad who just barely remembers Kristy McNichol having a career more than myself.

"Xmastime, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."
"Yeah, cool, Ron."
"Um...that's Mr. Clayton to you, Xmas."
"Yeah...hey Ronny, is the mother as horny as this one? fucking christ." (feet on table, spitting out lone sunflower seed)