My Two Shows

I can’t say I’ve been affected by the writer’s strike in Hollywood too much since I’ve become obsessed with watching two shows and two shows only: Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares and White Shadow. Well, plus I am neither a writer nor do I live in Hollywood, so I guess I can only be affected so much.

And by Kitchen Nightmares I mean the original British version on BBC – the newer American version, while entertaining, is SURPRISE!!...an over-the-top circus show where the main hook seems to be “come back after the commercial, Chef Ramsay beats up a coupla Girl Scouts!!” ugh. Every second we’re led to believe there’s gonna be a smackdown; I’m waiting for the episode where the restaurant happens to be owned by Vince McMahon. But the original series is great, it shows Ramsay somewhat bullying a restaurant from the jaws of defeat into success, but it’s a lot more mellow, calmer. Yes, he cusses from time to time. Big whoop. But he’s always right, and the solution to every show seems to be the exact same series of steps: cut the menu down, use local fresh ingredients, and trim any staff fat. Simple. And while he’s supposedly famous for his temper, you can really tell how much he cares about these people, most whose life savings are on the line. He jumps in, gets his hands dirty and turns the fortunes around (as long as the owners actually follow through on his advice, which is always a bit of a crapshoot.) A mark of how intoxicating this show is the fact that they filmed only about 7 of them and I watch them over and over every day…the tv version of the 3-week stretch a while back when I was able to use the ol’ “Bailey from WKRP in Cincinnati seduces me while Erin Grey tries on lingerie” scenario over and over on the toilet bowl. Never gets old. Mine slice.

As for the White Shadow, I always knew about it as a kid but it came around JUST before my tv watching career really kicked in. The first thing I love about the show is it’s visual authenticity; ie the school and gym looks like my school and every gym I played in. Drab, dreary etc. Empty stands, crappy WIN CARVER banners in the gym. If it came out today there’d be twenty-minute player introductions before each game with a laser show pumping and the “Lets get ready to rumble!!!” guy clocking in as the Laker girls sit on each other’s faces. And the wardrobe – black dudes wearing flannel with worn out jeans? Ah, the old days. Plus, the funny thing about the team is here’s a school in a black neighborhood in South Central, yet there’s room on the team for a Mexican, a Jew, an Italian and, get this, an Irish guy. I’m surprised there wasn’t a benchwarmer with a towel on his head.

One funny thing about the cast is no matter how many times I watch the show, maybe twice a day, I still can’t get the fucking names of the core group of 4 or so black guys straight. Call me a racist, but other than Coolidge I have no idea who’s who when coach is shouting out “Heyward! Thorpe! Jackson! Reese!” My only defense here is that a while back in this post I said the same about Hoosiers, so…apparently no matter what color you are - if you put on some tight shorts and run around a basketball court with a coupla other half-naked guys, my mind goes blank and I can’t remember your name.

Anyway. My two super-slices. Writers can stay out as long as they want, just keep repeating these two shows.


















"...no, you fucking donkey, Thorpe is the point guard...wait, or is it Hayward?...oh, bloody fucking christ..."