Things That Apply to Me

From Stuff White People Like.

#75 THREATENING TO MOVE TO CANADA I invented this one. Soon as the mercury goes up, prepare for my whining and crying re: the heat.
#74 OSCAR PARTIES or as I call it "going over to RRTHUR's" (yes ladies, THAT RRTHUR)
#67 STANDING STILL AT CONCERTS damn right.
#53 DOGS like anything, the bigger the better (cept for fried-egg titties. ugh.)
#14 HAVING BLACK FRIENDS see below...or have you not heard my plucky but sad country-western song "The Ballad of Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuffff!"?
#13 TEA iced tea. or is it ice tea? christ. 35 years old, a new mystery.
#12 NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATIONS well. I like PBS.
#11 ASIAN GIRLS I go thru some yellow fever stretches from time to time. yes, I WOULD like fly lie with that, thank you.
#8 BARACK OBAMA tho Edwards was my #1, I like Obama.
#2 RELIGIONS THEIR PARENTS DON’T BELONG TO or the absence of any religion at all
#1 COFFEE only in the past few years. And it aint gotta be fancy. But do I say no to a cottonseed oil pomegranete drizzle foo young espresso? Nyet.