Here's to Corey!!!

I've cried and bitched before on this blog about the numb-fuck retardedness of every bagger I seem to encounter at the grocery store these days; vacant eyes of indifference dimly lit as these chutterfucks stare ahead, barely bothering to seperate my Breyer's vanilla ice cream from a log that is on fire, all while wondering why they have three pennies in their "tip jar." I've given up even dreaming of getting a "hi howareya" from any of them, or being given the vague pretense of giving two shits if my stuff got bagged at all.

That's changed.

I got a favorite bagger! My last coupla trips to Topps Grocery I've had the pleasure of having my groceries bagged by Corey. Corey is a chubby little black kid, looks like he's maybe 10 or 11, smile always beaming, always happy to see you. Oh, and I have no idea what his name is, but Corey fits for me. You walk up and Corey's all "hi, how ya doin mister?!" You're caught off guard by his friendliness, and you watch him pin his ears back as he is determined to have all your stuff bagged JUST right. He hustles, and then he beams again "Have a great day!!" as he hands the bags to you and you're helpless not to drop in every penny you've ever earned in your life in the tip jar - if this kid ever gets a hold of seperate credit card machine he can use for his tips, he's wiping out the neighborhood, I'm telling you. Just the other day I did the once-unimaginable: finishing up my shopping, I was counting up what I was gonna be paying and what I had in my pocket when I found myself thinking "well, and I'm gonna wanna have enough left over for Corey of course." Kid's a genius!

Another thing I like is that a little kid whom I've picked up to be Corey's little brother sometimes bags the line next to Corey, and Corey is almost constantly talking out of the side of his mouth barking at the kid, and it sounds like some 1950's company man at the office. "Customer's always right!" is the message he is always pushing, and it's a crack-up to watch him lambaste his little brother the whole time. "Speed up!" "Stand up straight!" "I don't care what happened, it's your fault! Get it right next time!!!" etc etc. Kills me. But what's REALLY funny is Corey thinks he's being sly, thinks only his brother can hear his out-of-the-side-of-his-mouth whispers. But you can stand about 15 feet away and hear everything he says perfectly, which makes for pure entertainment. Corey should be the owner of a hardware store in 1952. "We don't have the right size!??!? I'm outraged! We'll have it tomorrow, on the house!!!"

The world needs more Coreys. I know the job sucks, most do. But by exerting just a bit of extra effort at the job, Corey's gonna end up buying the whole damn store. I fucking hope so.