Tuesday, April 15, 2008

What's the Matter with the Deer Hunter?

The funny thing about all the ObamaDrama of late is that it shouldn't even be any hoopla in the first place because he is, in a word, right. "No shit we're bitter" you'd think the people he "insulted" would be saying today. But instead it's here we go again, more of America's middle class "working folks!" allowing themselves to be swept up in a game of faux patriotism and emotion. If you're not grinning dumbly like a fucking jackass with your thumbs up that "things are going great!" while you're paying $4/gallon to drive around looking for a job cause yours got shipped overseas and it's just as well cause you're about to lose your house anyways so you'll be living in that car, then you are of course anti-American and, probably, Osama Bin Laden's pool boy. Unreal. This of course plays perfectly into everything I've screeched about before re: the middle class' desperation to completely destroy their own lives for the sake of the uber-rich getting uber-richer in the name of dudes not kissing/flag waving etc etc etc. These Americans have turned into an abused child who gets upset when someone finds out about the abuse and tries to stop it; claiming the abuser is "really a great person!" and to just "stay out of our business dammit!!" For fuck's sake.

We love to sit around, pat ourselves on the back and say "the American voter is smart, he'll figure it out!" And yet here we are with someone who has a strong chance of being the next President of the United States acknowledging that a group of people has been dealt a shitty hand and needs some help getting back on track and, with an assist from political spin and media nonsense, the very group he has acknowledged are apparently angry at him and are now looking to back the candidate who is claming that "whoa whoa whoa...nobody's bitter, everything's cool with these guys! They love America!" Maybe if these people write an extra verse to "The Star Spangled Banner" the candidates will pledge to never ever even remotely pretend to give a shit about them again? Would that be cool with these fucking idiots?

"Mr/Mrs President look, we quilted the biggest American flag ever, we're in Guinness!!!"
"Of course you did, you have time to do it since you don't have jobs!"
"Yes!!!"
"Oh and we're taking your homes, so get some tent poles, you'll be living under that flag from now on."
"Can we at least pay you for the quilting materials?"

Christ. If we're just supposed to smile and sing songs around campfires about how great things are going right now, why even have an election? If things are so great that we are supposed to be outraged at the mere suggestion of bitterness and any unrest in any American, then let's skip the election and keep everything the way it is, no? Let's send our savings to Cheney, burn our houses down so no damn gays can ever move in, pay Blackwater to invade the North Pole and make sweet love to our guns over and over while popping our hammys sprinting to the theater to make sure Judd Apatow's great-great-great-great grandchildren never hafta work a day of their lives. "America, the Dutiful"(-ly dumb.)

On a (somewhat) sidenote, I feel like people who get angry at anyone having a mere thought that everybody isn't 100% thrilled with how great America is right now are the same people who are annoyed black people might have anger issues about the country. "Hey, get over it, blacks! You're not slaves anyMORE, are you?! You finally got your civil rights, now lighten the fuck up! Send a billionaire some money, you'll feel better!!!"

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