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Thursday, May 08, 2008

The Manny Tapes

One great thing about being a Manny is there's always a jug of milk around. Is there anything better than ice-cold milk? I could live off the shit. And of course I scarf half the fucking gallon myself every day, and then I feel bad and try to cover it up for when the bosses come home. Shit ain't cheap. I'll tip the jug forward so it looks like there's more when you open the fridge, for instance. One time I greeted Short Bus' moms at the door, FURIOUS cause I had "dropped the goddam milk on the floor, spilling the shit everywhere. Dammit, me!!!!" And of course I still try the ol' "i dunno, but BOY does this kid guzzle milk! it's unreal!" Of course they know he's only supposed to have one big cup of it during the day; they can glance at the 1/2 gallon that's missing and know that "gee...that looks like more than 8 ounces missing..." Hey, they're not retarded. Caught up in a midget-pony German porn ring yes, but retarded? Nyet.

Ah well. Hey, I love milk. Makes me more of an American, dammit!!
















"HAHHAHAA!! Why don't you just suck some out of your big man-tits, you fat fuck?!?!!! YEEEEEEEEESS!!!"
at

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

tilting the container?

try watering the kid's milk down.
all the more for you (hands wringing) and by the time the calcium deficiency takes it's toll you'll be long gone.

n'est pas?

3:46 PM
retotted said...

While I do wish you didn't drink the milk as quickly as a nest container, please do not start watering it down. The liquor cabinet is already bad enough.

11:15 PM

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