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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Coupla Tough Morning Phone Calls

I guess because another awful movie version of it is coming out, The History Channel has been running all the episodes of the classic late-70's tv series The Incredible Hulk. A superslice of my youth, I hadn’t seen the show in decades and have been glued to it for hours. As an adult, my mind is privy to things about the Hulk my 8 year-old brain may not have been. For instance, we’ve all had those mornings after howling at the moon where it’s like “what the fuuuuuuck have I done?” But I gotta think the Dr. David Banner have some fucking doozies, no? Can you type "doozies" and have a penis?

(phone ringing)

Marty: Hello?
Dr. Banner: Heeeeeey, Marty...what's up?
Marty: oh. Hi Dave (icy)
Dr. Banner: so...last night, huh? Got crazy, didn't it?
Marty: yeah. No kidding.
Dr. Banner: I mean, once those beers started coming fast, we all let loose didn't we? Jimmy, with his shadow puppets and -
Marty: dude, there's no "WE" here. You went fucking crazy. AGAIN!
Dr. Banner: oh....yeeeeeaah, hey listen, Marty, I'm sorry, I -
Marty: you threw my truck off a cliff!
Dr. Banner: ...I know I had a bit much, but I -
Marty: you snapped a tree over your knee and played drums with it!
Dr. Banner: well hey, that's kinda funny...
Marty: on my house!!!! that's completely destroyed now!!!
Dr. Banner: hmm. Marty, I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you...
Marty: like my parents pool you removed from the ground?
Dr. Banner: ahhhh...you guys going out tonite?
Marty: we'll text you

(click)

Of course, I can't help but notice that my rediscovering The Hulk coincides with ANOTHER fucking lunatic coming to after apparently blacking out for a spell:

Bush voices regret for macho rhetoric in run-up to Iraq war.

Hey, at least The Hulk just goes crazy and tears shit up. Bush is like the drunk girlfriend at the bar whose liquid courage gets her boyfriend's ass beat cause she's being a drunk loudmouth total fuckwad. Christ.



"I did WHAT?...really...war, huh...'bring it on'? I said that? aw, c'mon, that's not me! you know me, camon!...'dead or alive', huh...yeah, that sounds like me...WMDs? oh, there's no WAY I'd have said...oh...I see...I did...repeatedly...heeeeeey, I look great in that flight suit, what's that about?....oh...well, that was fucking stupid...are you guys putting me on? for real? I mean, I know I went a lil crazy with the beers, but...how many dead so far?...oh, shit I'm so fucked...christ..."
at

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