Slow Your Roll

I saw this article and was about to explode re: ANOTHER fucking energy drink, jesus christ!!! etc etc. But then I realized that Drank is in fact the ANTI energy drink. How interesting.

The press release explains, "every aspect of this calming drink was inspired by today’s popular hip hop artists who embrace the much sought-after hip hop lifestyle that encourages people to capture a stress-free state of mind." So if all that caffeine has you buzzed, slow your roll, drink a Drank. It is reportedly good with vodka.

Hmm. Hey, you know what else slows my roll, puts me to sleep even? Vodka! Gee! This is like a drink advertising that it makes you hard as a rock and "is reportedly good with a big fat pair of titties in your face." Christ.

Also, I know I'm not a hip-hop culture expert. But where is this "stress free state of mind" they're talking about? Every time I see a hip hop video it's some dude shredding his shirt, growling at the camera waving around 3 or 4 guns while strobe lights go off in every direction. "Stress free" is not a phrase that crosses my mind. But hey. What do I know.

So Slow you roll and drink some Drank, you cracka muthafuckahs!!!!