XMASTIME: The Money's on the Dresser (that's what she said!!!)

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Friday, July 04, 2008

The Money's on the Dresser (that's what she said!!!)

I was reading The Rambler just now and I started thinking you know, I am so far removed from ever again actually having sex with another person that even if a hooker came over, I think I would just end up bullshitting with her, maybe doing a little Whore of Mensa thing. Then it occurred to me that you know what I'd like? I'd like to be able to pay a hot chick to come over and listen to my off-the-charts amazing quips while watching tv. Just yesterday I was watching the Beverly Hills 90210 where the verdict comes in on Noah's "rape" of Val, and I was ON FIRE!!!; at every turn I was dropping such bombs I was cracking myself up, and all I could think of was "man, I just wish there was somebody here to share this with." You know, the American Dream. I don't want a wife, I want someone to shout out "good one, Xmas!" And I think there should be a service in place to take care of this need.

3 comments:

Gina said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 2:21 PM
Gina said...: and if she were much older, and you weren't at all attracted to her, it would probably go much better, even!; 2:24 PM
Gina said...: like that old woman you were dancing with at that wedding...someone like that?; 2:26 PM