Who Gives a Batshit

Is everybody else SOOOOOOOO relieved now that the Batman flick has shattered every sales record known to mankind? Shew!!! How’d we even sleep through the weekend, waiting for the numbers to come in??!?!??

I mean for fuck’s sake…all goddam week leading up to the opening, all every fucking news site or channel was bleating about was “Batman could break all records!! Keep your fingers crossed!!! It might do it!!!” Acting as if we were all in it together – as if we were some small town and had entered ourselves in some national apple pie contest. What the…why would any of us give a flying fuck? “PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE break all box office records!!!” The media’s acting like we fucking beat the Soviets in the space race, and as a national collective have achieved greatness. Camon. As I’ve noted here before (scary – I referenced Heath in the post! BOO!), other than the four people who run Hollywood, who gives a shit about how much money movies make? Gee, I’m SO PROUD that complete strangers have made millions of dollars! Wow, I feel such a part of it!! Hooray!!! Maybe one of the producers can buy the Louisville Slugger company and beat my fucking brains in with a bat!!!!!

Can we just skip ahead to the fucking Super Bowl of waterworks Hollywood is going to put on during the Oscars for Heath Ledger and his “heroic” (an actual quote from a review) performance? Can we skip ahead to being over-the-top indignant whenever somebody questions whether Heath was the greatest actor who ever roamed the planet? The 11th Thing I Hate About You: you won't say that Ledger was Pacino times Nicholson times Brando squared!!!!!

I’m sure he was great in the flick. Wonderful. I will prolly not see it, it’s not really my kinda genre. My own life sucks enough; I don’t need to go see movies about, all things, SUPER-HEROES and hafta think “oh, no – Batman is sad!!!!”

Meanwhile, he was only an actor. I agree with my man here.