Babysitter – The Ramones
Static Electricity –The Undecided
The Undecided came out of the same JMU scene as the Rational Herdsmen (see last week’s brunch) and DT & the Shakes (featuring GIHYB’s Will Croxton, BWHUTAR*.) And of course in typical young, dumb “we’re artists! No pop songs!” The Undecided left this gem off their classic 1985 debut album. This drives me crazy when bands do this – do you see me leaving out my patented thumb/twist/ass move when I’m entertaining a paramour in my boudoir? HELL no!
Keep My Skillet Good and Greasy – Woody Guthrie
Any song that has “skillet” and “greasy” in it’s title is going to get my attention. Any song that spends the first few verses blathering about getting shitfaced later on will hold it. I was actually watching American Eats on the History Channel for the 618th time while uploading this, and it happened to be the part about KFC and, of course, the Colonel. On the show they show an old commercial from the 60’s, wherein a reverent chorus sings “How did he do it? How did it happen?”, totally in awe that some old guy figured out how to fry chicken. Amazing. Anyways, I tried to find it, couldn’t, but found this instead. Enjoy
Take Me Home Country Road – John Denver
Definitely a funeral slice, an amazingly beautiful song about an amazingly beautiful, picturesque state. How in the world it was ever handed over to these guys in the first place is a complete mystery, but oh well. Also, I can’t hear this slice without thinking of our yearly camping trips in Skyline Drive when I was a young buck. And how bout the whitest guy in the world having the same last name as one of the whitest places in the world? Balanced out of course by the exotic, trippy, "were-his-parents-drunk?" colorful first name of course.
Cheree – Suicide
Yes, another Suicide song, like last week. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to send a message that I’m gonna off myself. If I didn’t kill myself after Mickey D’s ditched the 20-piece pack of McNuggets, I’ll never do it. And this is the McNugget Credo by which I have chosen to live my life.
The Prettiest Girl – The Neighborhoods
Gee, I'm sorry I missed that “So, what’s the most cumbersome name we can possibly choose for our band?” meeting. Also, I love how this song is so bitter, a la “yeah, you’re so smoking hot and stuff, but look at you, you’re sooooo lonely! Nah nah-nah boo boo, stick your head in doo doo! Jokes on YOU, hot girl!!” Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Like you wouldn’t chop down the local water tower and use it to make 10,000 lockets for her if she even pretended to notice that you exist. Christ. (sobbing uncontrollably)
Blue Moon of Kentucky – Ryan
This is my buddy Ryan and some of his friends (nerds) back when they were in college. I can’t remember who plays what, but the point is he’s getting married in 2 months, so this burst of publicity from me will certainly lead to his last truckload of trim before shipping out to I Will Never Get to Use My Own Bathroom Again, USA.
In a Big Country – Big Country
Seriously – is Big Country the only band whose sole hit was also the name of the band? Yes, that’s the reason I chose this song today. Can anybody name another song by this band (without looking it up)?
Song Like Diane – The Burnt Ernies
The Burnt Ernies, like the Undecided et al, came out of Harrisonburg/Charlottesville, but I believe a few years after the magical year of 1985. One connection if that their album was produced by Will Croxton, BWHUTAR**. Influenced greatly by Husker Du, I assume the song is a reference to Diane from the HD record Metal Circus. Well, or Diane Sawyer,; what the fuck do I know. Mostly though, “Burnt Ernies” sounds like one of those stupid made-up band names on shows like My So-Called Life, a silly name that lends itself instantly to “band that sucks, but makes me cool cause I’m the only person that knows them.” Ugh.
ps - would run over Angela on Brian's bike to get up in her mother's tongety-tongs. Or whats her name, her drunk friend. Or hell, the nerdy girl. Sorry Angela! You get "Honorable Mention", along with the gay black guy and sweater-vest teacher guy.
Angel of the Morning – Chip Taylor
I’ve met plenty of celebs since moving to NYC, but none bigger than Chip Taylor – dude wrote Wild Thing AND Angel of the Morning!!!! How is that fucking possible? AND, just to show how much cooler than us he is, took a break from music for 20 years to be a professional gambler!! AND he invented the assfuck! Okay, no, that’s a lie. BUT, to top it off, he’s Angelina Jolie’s uncle. Fucking a.
And hey, just cause I like you guys, here's a lil dessert for you:
* Back When He Used to Actually Rock
** Back When He Used to Actually Rock
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