Wouldn’t It Be Nice – The Beach Boys
My #1 slice from Pet Sounds, vocals only. Shit like this reminds us that there was a time when you actually had to be TALENTED to put out records. I don’t know what’s more amazing here, the actual singing or the arranging. Or the fact that I spent about 15 minutes in bed this morning cracking myself up, riffing to myself. Jesus Christ I need
Still I Dream of It – Brian Wilson
Speaking of the Beach Boys, I’m reminded of the years when I first moved to Williamsburg and every music geek would run over a bus to sprint to you to show that he had a better track listing for the legendary Smile sessions than you did. Or, incredibly, than BRIAN WILSON DID. Fucking christ…fact is Smile kinda blows, and the best slice from anything like it is this cut. I like that here's a dude that's 350lbs, and he makes no bones about singing that he's waiting for someone to make him a sandwich. Makes my Pizza Hut buffet concept EP feel a little less silly, doesn't it? (email for a copy)
I Wonder What She’s Doing Tonight – Tommy Boyce & Bobby Hart
You KNOW what she’s doing: fucking!
Where Were you When I Needed You – The Grass Roots
When I was a kid my neighbor had an 8-track of the Grass Roots’ greatest hits, which were endless. Was a shock years later when I found out they weren’t actually a group, but rather a studio creation like many of the bubblegum hits of the jour. Side note: that neighbor’s father once duct-taped my mouth shut to shut me up during a NASCAR race on tv. How fucking awful is that? Seriously, making a kid sit through a fucking NASCAR race? Where there NO child abuse laws back then?!??!??!?!!
Sweet Cherry Wine – Tommy James & the Shondells
TJ is another one of those dudes during the bubblegum craze that seemed to show up one day and cranked out about 50 Top 10 hits in an afternoon. There are no bad Tommy James songs. This is my slice, a ridiculously great-sounding cut that belies it’s own message. Like when a hot chick slowly jerks you off while breathing in your ear that she’s got a dick. Well, so I would guess. Cough.
Eve of Destruction – Barry McGuire
If this song came out today, would it get played on the radio even once? And if it did, would the cds ironically be laced with lead from “Red China”? And whose idea was it to record this DURING Barry McGuire’s tracheotomy? Shit really was time-sensitive back then. Man. This also might be the best song there is that, while sending out a powerful message about the state of the world, reminds us that, let's be honest here, people with those electrolarynx voice boxes are FUNNY. Are you talking to me, or repeating my order at the drive-thru? (Hell, table for one please)
Dawn of Correction – The Spokesman
The ultra-cheesy response to Eve of Destruction. I’d imagine this is how information is distilled on the way to the Oval Office: Eve of Destruction going in, Dawn of Correction by the time it gets to Bush’s ears. "Everything's groovy, boss! You're the best!" Zing!
Turn On Your Love Light – Them
Which is the higher number: # of times I’ll masturbate to Susan Lucci on the HSN today, or # of albums Van Morrison will put out today? It’s a toss
One Way Ticket - The Breakaways
1979-1981 is a golden age of bubblegum/garage slices, and Peter Case is (to me) The Godfather of that scene. Case was also in the Nerves (Hanging on the Telephone) and, of course, The Plimsouls, whose uber-slice Million Miles Away was in Valley Girl. A movie that let us know "hey you know what, Nic Cage will never, EVER cash in by doing big, stupid, beyond-absurd stupid movies! He's the real thing!"
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