How Can You Think Outside the Box When You Only Have One Box?

I love how the Republicans are whining that "all we're looking for is a debate!" on the stimulus. Of course their version of "debate" is to keep bringing out the same old, tired idea that landed us in trouble of the first place. And I guess Obama's supposed to keep listening to this "idea" over and over until we all die of old age. At some point, shouldn't the GOP be embarrassed - can't ONE of them come up with anything new an different? I mean, thank god these people aren't in charge of writing comedy bits, right?

Republican:Well Obama, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Obama: Look Republican, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Republican:I certainly do.
Obama: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who’s playing on the team.
Republican:Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Obama: You mean funny names?
Republican:Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Obama: His brother Daffy.
Republican:Daffy Dean...
Obama: And their French cousin.
Republican:French?
Obama: Goofè.
Republican:Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Tax cuts's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Obama: That's what I want to find out.
Republican:I say Tax cuts's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Obama: Are you the manager?
Republican:Yes.
Obama: You gonna be the coach too?
Republican:Yes.
Obama: And you don't know the fellows' names?
Republican:Well I should.
Obama: Well then Tax cuts's on first?
Republican:Yes.
Obama: I mean the fellow's name.
Republican:Tax cuts.
Obama: The guy on first.
Republican:Tax cuts.
Obama: The first baseman.
Republican:Tax cuts.
Obama: The guy playing...
Republican:Tax cuts is on first!
Obama: I'm asking YOU Tax cuts's on first.
Republican:That's the man's name.
Obama: That's Tax cuts's name?
Republican:Yes.
Obama: Well go ahead and tell me.
Republican:That's it.
Obama: That's Tax cuts?
Republican:Yes.
PAUSE
Obama: Look, you gotta first baseman
Republican:Certainly.
Obama: Tax cuts's playing first?
Republican:That's right.
Obama: When you pay off the first baseman every month, Tax cuts gets the money?
Republican:Every dollar of it.
Obama: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Republican:Tax cuts.
Obama: The guy that gets...
Republican:That's it.
Obama: Tax cuts gets the money...
Republican:He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Obama: Tax cutsse wife?
Republican:Yes.
PAUSE
Republican:What's wrong with that?
Obama: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Republican:Tax cuts.
Obama: The guy.
Republican:Tax cuts.
Obama: How does he sign...
Republican:That's how he signs it.
Obama: Tax cuts?
Republican:Yes.
PAUSE
Obama: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Republican:No. What is on second base.
Obama: I'm not asking you Tax cuts's on second.
Republican:Tax cuts's on first.
Obama: One base at a time!
Republican:Well, don't change the players around.
Obama: I'm not changing nobody!
Republican:Take it easy, buddy.
Obama: I'm only asking you, Tax cuts's the guy on first base?
Republican:That's right.
Obama: Ok.
Republican:All right.
PAUSE
Obama: What's the guy's name on first base?
Republican:No. What is on second.
Obama: I'm not asking you Tax cuts's on second.
Republican:Tax cuts's on first.
Obama: I don't know.
Republican:He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Obama: Now how did I get on third base?
Republican:Why you mentioned his name.
Obama: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, Tax cuts did I say is playing third?
Republican:No. Tax cuts's playing first.
Obama: What's on first?
Republican:What's on second.
Obama: I don't know.
Republican:He's on third.
Obama: There I go, back on third again!
PAUSE
Obama: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Republican:All right, what do you want to know?
Obama: Now Tax cuts's playing third base?
Republican:Why do you insist on putting Tax cuts on third base?
Obama: What am I putting on third.
Republican:No. What is on second.
Obama: You don't want Tax cuts on second?
Republican:Tax cuts is on first.
Obama: I don't know.
Republican & Obama Together:Third base!
PAUSE
Obama: Look, you gotta outfield?
Republican:Sure.
Obama: The left fielder's name?
Republican:Why.
Obama: I just thought I'd ask you.
Republican:Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Obama: Then tell me Tax cuts's playing left field.
Republican:Tax cuts's playing first.
Obama: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
Republican:No, What is on second.
Obama: I'm not asking you Tax cuts's on second.
Republican:Tax cuts's on first!
Obama: I don't know.
Republican & Obama Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Obama: The left fielder's name?
Republican:Why.
Obama: Because!
Republican:Oh, he's centerfield.
PAUSE
Obama: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Republican:Sure.
Obama: The pitcher's name?
Republican:Tomorrow.
Obama: You don't want to tell me today?
Republican:I'm telling you now.
Obama: Then go ahead.
Republican:Tomorrow!
Obama: What time?
Republican:What time what?
Obama: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me Tax cuts's pitching?
Republican:Now listen. Tax cuts is not pitching.
Obama: I'll break your arm, you say Tax cuts's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Republican:What's on second.
Obama: I don't know.
Republican & Obama Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Obama: Gotta a catcher?
Republican:Certainly.
Obama: The catcher's name?
Republican:Today.
Obama: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Republican:Now you've got it.
Obama: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
PAUSE
Obama: You know I'm a catcher too.
Republican:So they tell me.
Obama: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to Tax cuts?
Republican:Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Obama: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
PAUSE
Republican:That's all you have to do.
Obama: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Republican:Yes!
Obama: Now Tax cuts's got it?
Republican:Naturally.
PAUSE
Obama: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now Tax cuts has it?
Republican:Naturally.
Obama: Tax cuts?
Republican:Naturally.
Obama: Naturally?
Republican:Naturally.
Obama: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Republican:No you don't, you throw the ball to Tax cuts.
Obama: Naturally.
Republican:That's different.
Obama: That's what I said.
Republican:You're not saying it...
Obama: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Republican:You throw it to Tax cuts.
Obama: Naturally.
Republican:That's it.
Obama: That's what I said!
Republican:You ask me.
Obama: I throw the ball to Tax cuts?
Republican:Naturally.
Obama: Now you ask me.
Republican:You throw the ball to Tax cuts?
Obama: Naturally.
Republican:That's it.
Obama: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to Tax cuts. Tax cutsever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Tax cuts picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Republican:What?
Obama: I said POW!
Republican:Oh, that's our shortstop.