Happy Fucking Birthday (Episode: Slipping)

The one thing I consider myself to be really good at is remembering people's birthday's. I spend most of my days wondering what the fuck street I live on, and there is almost a 90% chance I can't remember what the fuck your name is; yet if you've told me once, I will remember your birthday, and you'll prolly get a snappy lil text or email when your big day arrives. I wrote about it before on THIS AMAZING POST.

6) I’m really great at remembering people’s birthdays. I meet someone and they mention their birthday, then BAM! I got it locked in for life. Every year on your birthday I will call or write to you, making sure you know that on your day I’m thinking of you and wish you the best.

HOWEVER

These birthday greetings are usually accompanied with 20 minutes of “boy, can you believe I remembered your birthday? Wow, aren’t I something? How bout that! Are you right now thinking how wonderful I am because I remembered your birthday??!?! Wow!!” Christ. I remember a birthday, and I act like I’m The Amazing Randy pulling a gopher out of my ass “wow!! Look at that!!!!!” And of course I don’t “remember” to buy you a gift or buy you a round at the bar; surely my remembering your day is enough of a gift. Jesus fucking Christ.

But yesterday, I almost slipped up let one get by me. Oh, I caught it in time, barely; but now I know that I'm probably a coupla months from losing the lone thing that makes me better than anyone else. And that makes me sad :(