Marley #1

a la MARLEY:


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Xmastime suffers from a malady that has sadly rotted the American left. In conservative quarters, it is called Bush Derangement Syndrome, but to be fair, conservative quarters are currently (in large part through the failures of conservatism itself) relegated to a few dank basements in Winchester, Virginia. I have attempted to cure this malady in occasional emails to Xmastime and even less frequent comments to this blog. In short, the American left's psychoses regarding Bush has retarded its own philosophy. Thus, when Xmastime writes, it is always through the prism of "Bush was retarded, so . . . . " This has obviated the need for the left to actually settle on a coherent, definable philosophy that transcends personality

The Left - and Xmastime - has suffered an unexpected secondary infection - West Wing-itis, in which they believe that what truly is missing in American politics is the goodness of Josh, CJ and Sam, a trio of characters sprung from the mind of the execrable Aaron Sorkin. These fictions place even greater pressure on the left as it struggles to separate reality from television drama. An example: Xmastime's lament over Senator Bayh. With massive majorities in both houses, the left still maintains the aura of victim. Thus, again, it is flawed personality, not policy, that thwarts the attainment of their goals.

The advent of Obama has lodged these twin-infections deep in the marrow of the left. He is, after all, a politician born of magic and fairy dust (much like Xmastime's prior love, John Edwards), not a long-standing record of fealty to any particular policy or philosophy. He is in the making, not fully developed. As such, he is not tasked with the requirement of a coherent philosophy. It is enough, currently, that he is not Bush, he smacks of Jimmy Smits and he just makes us feel so good.

So, I ask Xmastime and the Left, forget the evil, retarded Bush. Forget the fantastical intevention of a Rob, be it Lowe or Reiner. Forget the currently filled vessel that is Obama, who will be the president for 8 years (bank it).

In those 8 years, what do you want to happen? Pick 5 big things.

I can tell you, for example, what I wanted in 2000 and post 9-11.

1) Lower taxes (check)

2) Lower spending (fuck no)

3) Lower governmental involvement (fuck no)

4) Conservative justices and federal judges (check)

5) A muscular, interventionist response to threats abroad and at home - yes and no; I got too much Wilsonian "remaking" and once in for penny in Iraq and Afghanistan, I was in for a pound. I'd like to say I was a Kissingerite (to whom we all owe a debt when he once said of the Iran-Iraq war, "It's a shame they can't both lose"), but I sided with the neo-cons believing that once we set root, we'd be invested in a face-to-face scrum that was unavoidable and inevitable and thus, best to have on terms of our choosing)

Other hot-button issues (gay marriage, abortion, stem-cells, gun control, etc . . . ) held and hold no interest for me.

What would be my 5 as a leftist?

1) Higher taxes on higher wage earners

2) Universal health care

3) A revamping of energy policy to combat the next apocalypse (global warming) and save the otter

4) Withdrawal from our oil wars

5) An activist, more involved, and higher funded government that makes the Bush increases in spending look positively Hooveresque and Rooseveltian/Johnsonian reach appear paltry.

This kind of list should serve as a starting point of discussion. It should no longer suffice to snigger at the still-around Cheney and condescend to those dupe tea-baggers or that skank, Miss California (who, liked the president, opposes gay marriage). Bland tropes such as "competence" and "fairness" and "honor" really can't suffice, can they? For if they do, mark my word, after the Obama administration ends up with a modest, centrist 8 years, where you got 1.5 of the things on your list (kind of), by that time, you'll be so emotionally invested that any mild query will result in, "Well, what do you want? We weren't Bush? We were competent, fair and honorable."

Mind you, Xmastime, I'm not asking for a reduction in the T&A. Let's not get wacky.

But take a week or so away from Andrew Sullivan and The Huffington Post, and put that Longwood education to work.

P.S. I think Xmastime was hoping for more yucks per word, but in writing for the Left, I just kept saying to myself, "This is not funny. Sam Seaborn would not write yucks at this critical moment." So, if this is deadly dull, it is only because I care too much.

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