The search for a direct connection between humans and the rest of the animal kingdom has taken 200 years - but it was presented to the world today at a special news conference in New York.
The discovery of the 95%-complete 'lemur monkey' - dubbed Ida - is described by experts as the "eighth wonder of the world".
Researchers say proof of this transitional species finally confirms Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, and the then radical, outlandish ideas he came up with during his time aboard the Beagle.
As a man of science (cough) obviously the more we can prove, the less we'll be ruled by a book of fairy tales. But to be fair, I will direct you to a "ding" I made on evolution HERE:
The one ding in the theory of evolution in my eyes is cows. What the fuck - we have spent century after century shredding cows of their meat, their flesh, their fur, their milk; EVERYthing we can gets our mitts on from a cow, we're taking. And yet cows haven't changed at all. They've stayed the exact same - they still just stand there like fucking idiots in the middle of fields. All the things listed above we've taken from them, and you can pretty much run up to a cow in a pasture screaming at the top of your lungs waving a lighter and a bottle of BBQ sauce, and it just stands there with that dumb, blank stare at it chews on some more fucking grass. "Hi! Wanna reach under me and rob my body of some free milk, stranger? You got it!"
They haven't even learned to camouflage themselves. You'd think their hides would be green by now. Nope. White and black. Usually in spots, so you you're sure who to blow away with a stun gun to get some steak chops.
Cows. Fucking idiots.
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