Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Ru, Ru, Rubio!

I don't know who this person is because I don't follow it like when I was a kid, but apparently there is an NBA lottery pick named "Rubio." Which reminds me of TSGT Rubio from my technical training school in the USAF post boot-camp. He was a small Billy Martin-looking guy who couldn't speak if you chopped his hands off, and throughout the weeks I got quite well-known throughout the base for my Rubio impersonation. Which, I assumed, Rubio was oblivious to.

The morning of our graduation, Rubio sternly called me up to the front of class, looking pissed. I thought he was going to kick me out, that I had somehow failed, that I was being sent back to boot camp or something crazy. I was scared shitless. What did he want?

He wanted to see my Rubio. And I brought the fucking house down.

And oh yeah - as for helping sew the very blanket of freedom you will safely sleep under tonight, you're welcome.

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