The Dentist

Three years ago I mentioned what's prolly pretty rote by now, that although Republicans are supposedly so good at defense and fiscal responsibility, they're actually pretty shitty at it:

Name one issue that even used to be a Republican rallying cry. Fiscal responsibility? Please. I’ve been more responsible with money after waking up under the pool table at the Nest soaking in my own urine. Well. SOMEbody’s urine anyways. Now, if you’re super-rich and are one of the wealthiest people in the country, then it would make sense since you’d be the one getting all the tax cuts. Lucky you! Odds are however that you’re one of the other 297 million people in the country, so unless you own an NFL franchise or have a lawsuit cookin against McDonalds, you’re a fucking idiot if you vote Republican.

Defense? (had to stop typing, tears from laughter were shorting my keyboard.) It’s been the notion forever that Republicans are strong on Defense, we’ve always taken it for granted. But boy, it’s hard to even come up with a scenario wherein they could’ve botched this whole thing this badly, right? Maybe if they had accidentally sent in puppies instead of troops? Flapjacks instead of body armor? Man. I’m surprised we didn’t invade Chinatown by accident. “Herro, twoops! Is that a framefrowa? Aaaaaiiiggghhhh!!!!” We are less safe that we were on 9-10-01 and that is all on Fuckwit and his boys Cheney and Rummy et al. Unless your name is Osama Bin Laden, you’re a fucking idiot if you vote Republican. And if your name is Osama Bin Laden and you’re reading this blog, might I suggest for your next video throwing my name out? I could use some heat with the ladies, I would think a shout-out from the world’s most wanted man would really up my “bad boy” status. Just something to think about.

The fact that we're pretty much the exact same off as we were when I first wrote that when it comes to any of the "wars" we're in speaks for itself re: defense. And this guy via Sully nails it pretty good re: "fiscal responsibility":

The last Republican who left the office of the presidency with the federal public debt as a percentage of GDP less than when he entered was Richard Nixon (FY 1975). The last Republican who left the office of the presidency with a federal deficit less than 2.7% of GDP was Dwight Eisenhower (FY 1961). Since WW II no Democratic president has ever left office with the federal public debt as a percentage of GDP more than when he entered. And since WW II no Democratic president has ever left office with a federal deficit more than 2.6% of GDP.

We already have at least one party of fiscal responsibility. It's called the Democratic Party.

You could say neither party is particularly responsible, so maybe a better way to phrase that last sentence would be "We already have one party with the least amount of fiscal responsibility. It's called the Republican Party."

Of course, I am looking forward to watching the GOP run on two things next year: defense and fiscal responsibility. They are the dentist who keeps drilling into the wrong tooth, but people insist on coming back to the chair. Awesome.