Wisdom

Every politician, every entertainer, every athlete, every anybody dude who's rich and famous I'm sorry, but he's gonna be getting as much ass as possible. Period. Why do we still pretend to be shocked by this? Yes, males are pigs. That has not and will not change. I wrote HERE about the opportunity cost of faithfulness. But why do so many famous dudes keep falling for this? And by "falling for this" I don't mean "get caught banging some waitress in a dumpster," I mean "get caught cheating on a wife that inexplicably exists."

Derek Jeter has 4 World Series Rings. He is a first-ballot Hall of Famer who will be spoken of in hushed tones for hundreds of years. He is an immortal of our Nation's Pastime, he will forever be seen as a symbol of everything that is great about America.

And yet as time goes on, Jeter's single greatest legacy might be this: hey asshole, if you're incredibly rich and incredibly famous...DON'T GET MARRIED!!!!

Marriage in and of itself can be a great thing. But, if you're rich and famous, the odds of it becoming something terrible skyrocket. There was a college football coach in the 50's (maybe Texas's Darrell Royal?) who, upon being asked why he ran the ball so much, said "when you throw the ball only three things can happen, and two of them are bad."

It's the same thing for rich, famous guys. They can:

1) marry the love of their life and somehow stay true, despite the endless roadtrips and moneyed opportunities.

2) meet someone after they're married that they normally WOULDN'T have met were they NOT rich and famous, and quietly engage in an affair, which their wife of course knows about and, instead of divorce, holds it over their head for the rest of their life until the guy is Daniel Stern in the beginning of City Slickers and everybody involved is fucking miserable, albeit "together" and "quiet," until they die early, miserable deaths.

3) have an affair with someone who decides to make things public, either for genuine "he loves ME!!" reasons or for $$$$$$$$$$$$$  or reality show reasons, therein destroying said rich & famous person's marriage, career, legacy and making them the butt of jokes for all eternity.

We are in the year 2009. Young, hot, rich, famous dudes seem desperate to get married. And yet that is the kiss of death for them. And yet the only person who seems to have figured this out is Derek Jeter. Cap. Doffed. (call me, Jeets! I love pussy!)