Great 2009 Xmastime Moments, XIX

Piracy

I know I'm an asshole, but surely I'm not the only one who finds it difficult to take this whole "ship taken over by pirates" ordeal seriously because they're actually using the word "pirates," am I? You hear the work "hijacker" and you think of a sinister, swarthy guy intent on killing everybody in the name of a God that you know nothing about. But you hear "pirates" and you think "boy, that sounds like fun." I mean, you can't report on serious situations with words that we're really only used to hearing at amusement parks, right? I mean, you might as well say the ship was taken over by Yogi Bear; it's the same shit to me.







"Hey hey Boo Boo! Collect all these people's money, put it in these nice pic-a-nic baskets!"