/* MOBILE FIX: stop forcing desktop min-width */
@media screen and (max-width: 800px) {
body {
min-width: 0 !important;
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.content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner {
min-width: 0 !important;
max-width: 100% !important;
width: auto !important;
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.main-inner .columns {
padding-left: 0 !important;
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.date-header {
background: #000 !important;
display: block !important;
width: 100% !important;
padding: 8px 12px !important;
box-sizing: border-box !important;
}
.date-header span {
background: transparent !important;
}
.post-header-line-1 {
display: block !important;
width: 100% !important;
background: #000 !important;
padding: 8px 12px !important;
box-sizing: border-box !important;
}
.post-header-line-1 * {
background: transparent !important;
}
/* --- XMastime fixes: titles + date bars + mobile --- */
/* Post titles: stop random centering */
h3.post-title,
h2.post-title,
.post-title {
text-align: left !important;
}
/* Date header: make the black bar extend full width */
.post-header-line-1 {
display: block !important;
width: 100% !important;
background: #000 !important;
padding: 8px 12px !important;
box-sizing: border-box !important;
}
.post-header-line-1 * {
background: transparent !important;
text-align: left !important;
}
/* Mobile: stop forcing huge desktop width */
@media screen and (max-width: 800px) {
body {
min-width: 0 !important;
}
.content-outer,
.content-fauxcolumn-outer,
.region-inner {
min-width: 0 !important;
max-width: 100% !important;
width: auto !important;
}
.main-inner .columns {
padding-left: 0 !important;
padding-right: 0 !important;
}
}
/* FORCE post titles consistent */
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.post-title a,
h2.post-title,
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text-align: left !important;
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.post-outer .post-header,
.blog-posts .post-header-line-1 {
display: block !important;
width: 100% !important;
background: #000 !important;
box-sizing: border-box !important;
padding: 8px 12px !important;
margin: 0 !important;
}
/* prevent inner bits from “breaking” the bar */
.date-header *,
.post-header *,
.post-header-line-1 * {
background: transparent !important;
text-align: left !important;
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/* MOBILE: stop the fixed 1218px width behavior */
@media screen and (max-width: 800px) {
body,
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.content-fauxcolumn-outer,
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min-width: 0 !important;
max-width: 100% !important;
width: auto !important;
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.main-inner .columns {
padding-left: 0 !important;
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/* DATE HEADER: make the black bar go full width */
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/* FORCE FULL WIDTH DATE BAR NO MATTER WHAT */
.date-outer,
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.date-header,
h2.date-header,
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background: #000 !important;
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margin: 0 0 18px 0 !important;
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/* force the TEXT itself orange and remove any weird inner box */
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-->
Monday, December 14, 2009
Ranking Tiger's Whores, aka "Tiger's 9 Holes"
(in Descending Order) (Tiger - are you kidding me with that last one? wtf?) (has anybody written the obligatory "The 12 Whores of Tiger" a la that partridge in a pear tree song yet? Yes? No? Maybe?)
And, sadly, his wife is hotter than all of them. (The first one is hot but skanky. And not one person has publicly come to her defense except her lawyer. That says a lot, right there.)
Because of A-Rod, Tiger, etc. I think all celebrity athletes should follow what I will now dub "The Jeter Rule" (or to a lesser degree, "The Zito Rule" after Giants pitcher Barry):
If you are a rich, handsome athlete who feels like fucking every hot piece of ass that moves, by all means do so. Rinse and repeat. WARNING: Remain single until this urge recedes completely or at least considerably. Otherwise, significant loss of income and reputation may follow.
3 comments:
Just in time for the release of "Nine"!
And, sadly, his wife is hotter than all of them. (The first one is hot but skanky. And not one person has publicly come to her defense except her lawyer. That says a lot, right there.)
Because of A-Rod, Tiger, etc. I think all celebrity athletes should follow what I will now dub "The Jeter Rule" (or to a lesser degree, "The Zito Rule" after Giants pitcher Barry):
If you are a rich, handsome athlete who feels like fucking every hot piece of ass that moves, by all means do so. Rinse and repeat. WARNING: Remain single until this urge recedes completely or at least considerably. Otherwise, significant loss of income and reputation may follow.
and teeth.
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