Thursday, February 25, 2010

Grading IllWill's Essay

 guest post by MARLEY

A game effort.  I have some thoughts.

1.  Avoid ALL CAPS.  It's a lazy route to emphasis.
2.  Unabomber, not "Unibomber"
3.  Attention to detail is important.  I read "Fuck it, here loss" and immediately began looking for the loss.
4.  The story is kind of faggotty (you don't want to say this - "of course I was ecstatic" - about getting a call from another man).  I'm left to wonder exactly how much "Greg has had [your] back."
5.  "Senior year was the tits" and "general ballyhoo"?  One minute, you're Ethel Merman and the next you're Lord Palmerston.

C+

2 comments:

Xmastime said...

poor kid:

"Its up! Tell marley to let that one sit."

hahahaaha!!!

BayonneMike said...

I love how he keeps giving Xmastime zingers on how old he is!