The Bagel Store, two blocks from my house, is now featuring a bacon, egg & cheese bagel that, say it with me...is made out of bacon, egg and cheese blended together. Of course. Who wants to waste all that time biting into all that pesky bacon, egg & cheese when we can just shove them together into an unrecognizable ball to cram down our maws? Why the fuck is this not a smoothie yet?
The inevitable: I'm giving about 48 hours before some over-clever hipster douchebag gleefully blogs about putting bacon, egg & cheese onto the bacon, egg & cheese bagel. Irony, sandwiched in irony, in skinny jeans. Oh, and he'll be one of those people that is in a rush to report to us how "amazing" bacon is. Because obviously nobody has ever discovered that before. "What's the word on bacon? Has that dj in Williamsburg gotten his review on it out yet? Is bacon good? What's the holdup? We need to know, it's a complete fucking mystery to us?!?!?!" Yes, salted cured meat is fucking awesome. Congrats Magellan. YOU'RE amazing!
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