Ugh.

While on the Chinatown Bus this weekend (and by "bus" I mean "large van with no a/c or open windows..."it's gonna get grisly back here" I warned the girl next to me) I watched as a hipster couple were FASCINATED at the hot dog they bought when we stopped at a gas station. I was fascinated that they've apparently never had a hot dog before, but whatevs. They're going overboard at how "real" this seemed to make them (ooooh, what's next guys - a "dive" bar!??!!?!?!?!) was noxious, but not as noxious as when the girl started feeding it to the dude and making cooing noises.

I know it's been about 1979 since a girl last gave me the time of the day, but I'm pretty sure if my girlfriend did that shit she'd pull back a bloody stump, and I would put the fuckstick in the lockbox for the night to punish her for doing some gay nonsense like that. One time in college my girlfriend tried to speak baby talk with me. I looked at her and said ooooh, woodums wike a wittle kissy-wissy yum yum yum! bitch, have you lost your goddam mind?