Robert Frost Was an Asshole

I just read this incredible fact about Albert Pujols:

In his only college season, Pujols hit a grand slam and turned an unassisted triple play in his first game.

Jesus fucking christ. Obviously the first thought that comes to mind is how this resembles MY FIRST SUMMER LEAGUE GAME, and one cannot wonder how different mine our paths have gone over the years. I'm not going to say I was a better baseball player than Pujols, that's impossible to say, but I probably was, and it's sad to think I should be making a zillion dollars playing pro ball too. Oh well. Life, eh? A box of crackers.

Watching Opening Day makes me think of the first doubleheader of summer league ball after my freshman year. At 14 I was technically too young to be on the team, but Coach Ashton snuck me on anyway...of course, looking back, the odds of anyone checking to see someone's age was about 0 to 0.

I got 7 hits and threw two guys out at home from right field that day. I played DT & the Shakes' HITS album in my head over & over, and I ruled the games. We got crushed of course; but Coach made a point of mentioning that the only one who did shit all day was a scrawny 14 year-old (awaiting Brothatime!!'s fone call: "You were never scrawny.") I was a 14 year-old Superman.

Of course, I got one hit the whole rest of the summer. ONE. The season turned into an outrageously long one; hours of standing around in the baking sun waiting for Stick Man to throw a strike, which happened about as often as me getting a hit. I also spent an entire afternoon yelling at Coach to get me out of the outfield cause there were snake holes out there.

I don't know what my point is. I guess I'm hoping some hot chick will read this and decide she needs to sleep with me, since I once threw out 2 guys at home in one game. Usualy how it works, I guess.