Sigh. I Used to Be Funny. :(

Moi ICI:

One Sunday dinner my mother made a country ham as well as the usual roast beef or chicken - I don’t know why, I guess she was thinking “the boys should really eat more meat. Maybe I’ll ease them into it with a 12-lb ham. Hey, I should invent a diet where people only eat meat…call it the Fatkins Diet!” Somehow the ham made it through the meal virtually untouched – I vaguely remember our family having a rousing discussion on the possible ramifications of the upcoming Jupiter Effect; my brother believing the gravitational effect of the other planets on the Earth's crust may be minimal even at their closest approach, and me patting myself on the back the rest of the meal for coming up with claiming my brother was a victim of The Stupider Effect…which got no laughs, but showed an early proclivity for being able to perform in front of different kinds of meats.

"Fatkins"!!  hahahaha!! I'm cracking myself up over here.  Dying.