No Ga-News Is Good Ga-News With Garry.....Ga-New!

It's going around today that April 11, 1954 was the slowest news day of the last century:

Every day something of significance occurs, but nothing remarkable had happened on the said day in 1954, according to experts who inserted over 300 million important events of the century into a computer search programme to calculate. 

But what's even more remarkable to me is this:

Earlier, April 30, 1930 had been dubbed as the dullest day of the 20th century after a BBC Radio announcer at the 6.30pm bulletin declared: "There is no news". 

Wow! Can we even imagine this these days? I mean, we've spent most of today being deluged with articles inciting us to panic because documents were leaked that may portray diplomats as not being 100% sweet 100% of the time. Christ, we're the country that almost shut down because we thought some kid was taking a ride in a fucking balloon. And yet on that night, the BBC had the balls to say "hey, nothing of real importance happened, carry on." Astounding. It's like what I said earlier - sure it's the media's job to make information available, but someone has to be able to say what ACTUALLY is of importance and what's not (but of course, again, we get what we ask for: shallow, shriek-inducing fear mixed in with red carpet pics of Kim Kardashian's ass.)

This makes me think of the non flame-inducing celebrity mag I dream of publishing:

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Magazine Idea

I think I'd like to start a rival magazine for US Weekly. Anti-US Weekly, actually. Covers would scream things like this:

BRAD AND ANGELINA ARE JUST FINE, NOT FIGHTING. SEEM HAPPY IN THEIR MARRIAGE.

TOM & KATIE ARE TWO EQUALS IN A SECURE, REAL MARRIAGE.

PLASTIC SURGERY? I DO NOT KNOW, DESPITE THESE WEIRDLY-ANGLED, UNFLATTERING PHOTOS. I WOULD NEED TO SEE MEDICAL RECORDS.

JENNIFER DID NOT SPEND LAST NIGHT CRYING, DRUNK-TEXTING BRAD.

IS LINDSAY ON THE EDGE? I HAVE NO IDEA, I DO NOT KNOW HER PERSONALLY.