As for YouTube, it occurs to me that if I'm ever gonna pull off some mass murder or assassination-type thing, I'm gonna hafta really beef up my videos. I have exactly zero conspiratorial, "Satan is coming, we're all gonna die!" stuff, or quotes from books that college freshmen like to quote after midnight in the dorm hallways when they're trying to impress each other. I really need to get my act together - imagine if tomorrow I snapped and took a pop at a public official, and the juiciest thing they could find was this, Theodore's broadcasting audition reel. Weak, man. Weak.
Some of you Xmas fans from the beginning may remember Theodore, the ultra-conservative right-wing stuffed bear. We haven't heard from him in quite a while; but now something from his past has created quite a stir over at The Smoking Gun. For years now some of us close to Theodore have had to hear him rant and rage against the New York Yankees for not hiring him to be a broadcaster, despite an "amazing" audition tape he sent in years and years ago. The legend of this tape had grown over the years; by now we had been led to believe (by, of course, Theodore himself) that this tape was the single greatest recorded moment ever, it was Cosell times Michaels, and the only reason the Yankees didn't hire him was that they were intimidated by 1) such amazing work 2) such amazing work having been done by, of all things, an ultra-conservative right-wing stuffed bear.
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